Juz look at all the junk i'm bringing in my bag!! haha...veri unsoldierly right?? haha..
Bean blubbered at [21:26]
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haiz. i dunno what i've done to cause this kind of misunderstanding. am i such a cynical person? saddened.. coz perhaps i gave this impression that i'm revengeful, cynical & bad.. i tried so hard yet in the end get this kind of impression?
hmmm.. perhaps it's my lingo.. too army-linguistic. in army terms, objective is often used. all i wanted to mean was simply.. i shan't long for anything more.. i'm glad i obtained my objective which all along was to let u feel that i'll always be there to care for ya. to make ya happy. to keep ya happy. i obtained it coz u felt happy during the two weeks..
ironic. why? coz i was so one-minded to please you, i'll do anything possible. hearing that u realli felt the happiness of being cared for n kinda enjoyed it, i felt my objective of making ya happy was fulfilled. However, i didn't fulfill my ultimate objective of being together with ya for as long as i could imagine.
the reasons. they refer to that of the split. as long as i felt i could understand the reasoning, i'll try my utmost to get up n not dwell on it.
so... is this a clear enough explanation? hmmm.. i dun blame ya at all for being so defensive. so sensitive to certain remarks. everyone has their way of protecting themselves.. the tortoise, the porcupine etc.. i hope this small misunderstanding blows away coz i've never thought i could seem so cynical. to think i'll always treat ya the best i could.
hmmm... i nv liked argument. i'll rather give in. coz no matter whether i win or lose, in the end, i noe i'll feel regretful. be it becos of my outburst or becos i've made some mistakes somewhere.. i was especially sad to see that letter deleted. hmmm.. i realli dun want to give another impression that i am angry or being spiteful here.. coz sincerely, i cross my heart, i'll never plan any revenge or hurt to any of my frens.
Bean blubbered at [01:19]
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Juz a short one abt the day's happenings.. morning lazed in bed alternating between watching naruto or reading angels & demons.. went November Echo Papa's place to get all the loot.. heh.. on the journey to n fro was reading time.. once home, spent the whole afternoon watching Naruto..
evening went out. caught a movie n had dinner together.. went home after.. upon reaching home, i read something stunning. well,.. it was touching.. i think i should feel glad. coz in a way i've succeeded. yet it's also kinda ironic coz i obtained my objective yet actually din claim the prize.. hmmm.. i'm not sure perhaps.. but nvm.. as long as i can understand the reasons.. i think i'll get up eventually.
it was a fine day. not becoz of the weather, events happening or any other reason. but coz i've gotten up & started walking on already.. my heart has learnt to accept.
Bean blubbered at [02:27]
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read this from somewhere.. personally i feel i'm totally not like the student in the story.. heh.. juz wanna share it..
"Relate you life with the story...Then, do self reflection after having completed reading this article!
Once upon a time, there was a teacher and his student lying down under a big tree near a big grass area. Then, suddenly, the student asked the teacher,
Student : Teacher, I'm confused, how can we find our soul-mate? Can you please help me?
Teacher : (Silent for few second, than he answer) Well, it's a pretty hard and easy question.
Student : (Thinking hard) Huh???
Teacher : Look on that way, there are a lot of grass there, why don't you walk there but please never walk backward, just walk straight ahead. On your way, try to find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it to me.But just one.
Student : Well, ok then... wait for me... (walked straight ahead to the grass field).
A few minutes later...
Student : I'm back.
Teacher : Em, well I don't see any beautiful grass on your hand.
Student : On my journey, I found few beautiful grass, but I thought that I would find a better one, so I didn't pick it up. But I didn't realize that I'm at the end of the field, and I hadn't picked up any. Cause you told me not to go back, so I didn't go back.
Teacher : That's what happened in real life.
What is the message of this story?
* Grass - is people around you
* Beautiful Grass - is people that attract you
* Grass Field - is time
* In looking for your soulmate, please don't always compare and hope that there will be a better one. By doing that, you'll waste your lifetime,always remember "Time Never Goes Back".
It applies the same in finding your ideal life partner, your suitable career or business, therefore the morale is LOVE & grab hold of the opportunity that you have now, don't waste time!
~There Can Be Only One~
by ******* @ 9:44:00 PM "
Bean blubbered at [23:37]
Support Futsal Team 1..
Standing from left: 2SG Wu Jie (Scout), CPL TengPok aka Muscle (Scout), LCP Prasad(Signal), CPL Melvyn(Signal), 3SG Kerk(Scout). Squatting from left: 3SG Derek(Scout), CPL Siva(Scout).
Summary: 1-0 win over HQ, 4-0 win over Charlie, 2-2 draw (PK lose 2-3) with Alpha, 0-1 defeat to Bravo (eventual champs).
Bean blubbered at [17:18]
My blasted penalty arrowing into the top corner of the net.. heh.. i like this goal realli...flipping the ball up while advancing on the goalie sure did surprise many ppl...
Bean blubbered at [16:41]
hey... forgot all about the new interest i had wanted to blog about on wed nite. yeah. nights off on tuesday nite then we went to safra yishun. i wanna climb the rock wall! haha.. we were intrigued. juz sitting there watching them try the wall.. i noe i'm gonna do it in my life some time.. so when llewell went to check out the price of the course etc, i told him let's go for it. then during nights off maybe come n climb.. haha..
it's pretty affordable i'd say.. oni 60+ for the one day course n around 14 bucks for 2 person on a four hour slot. affordable rite? hmmm... can't wait for after my Army Tactical Evaluation Course (ATEC), then life would be good le... juz lazing around waiting for ORD...
Bean blubbered at [13:46]
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Wednesday, March 23, 2005
i'm worried. hmmm.. cool and planned as i felt am about it, i still a bit fear not being accepted by either ntu or nus. ask me abt the plans i hv after ord, i'll reply, "i've already applied at NUS & NTU. if accepted, i'll go study. if not, i'll prolly work for a year then try again at more universities.". jm has gotten a notification from ntu that he has been accepted. i haven gotten anything. i feel my chances diminishing as the days goes by.. *sigh*
i dunno what kinda job i can fit into.. i'm not sure the market has my kinda job available. i dunno what kinda money i should ask for. And i definitely fear for those difficult questions like choosing between work or family. i noe i'm the kind that'll find it hard to lie. hmmm... and how am i gonna answer if they ask about my plans? "err.. work for a year then go study.."??? it's crazy n they prolly will be discouraged to hire someone for oni one year.. haiz.. dilemma..
Bean blubbered at [21:12]
i'm a lil' upset. sad. hmm.. i dunno how to say it. "the back of the hand is flesh, the palm oso is flesh." hmmm.. i'm upset coz the unnessary comments/commotion tagged hurt a much cherished fren of mine. though i cannot control what others say, it wouldn't hv happened had i not blogged about it.. haiz. in a way, it's my fault too.. thinking of the damage done/ consequences cos of the tags brought me down. i realli cherished the frenship. yet i noe the kinda person my fren is... the damage's done. haiz. =(
Bean blubbered at [20:55]
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Yay! Finally caught Hitch! Thought it was taking forever to get someone willing to watch with me.. Heh! Just back from Causeway Point. Watched with kp n dn.. Found it pretty inspiring. Of course it was funny as well..
It was another day that started without any plans whatsoever of what i'm going to do. whether to go out, or ask ppl out or whether there is ppl to ask out, etc etc.. Eventually, i lazed on my bed savouring the last bit of my Last Jury till noon. i bet i'll prolly start on Angels & Demons before i book out on wednesday nite this week..
gotta go.. duffer bag inspection at 2200h. going in now to pack.. take care dudes..
Bean blubbered at [20:30]
V For Victory !
Bean blubbered at [15:41]
Freeze !! Or I'll Shoot... !!
Bean blubbered at [15:37]
Hmmmm... (Confident Haughty Sneer.. haha! =P)
Bean blubbered at [15:33]
Caught In The Act?!! what act?
Bean blubbered at [15:29]
-picture deleted due to censorship, inconveniences caused deeply regretted.-
angelic
Bean blubbered at [02:36]
-picture deleted due to censorship, inconveniences caused deeply regretted.-
Oops.. 40 years down the road??
Bean blubbered at [02:34]
-picture deleted due to censorship, inconveniences caused deeply regretted.-
The laughter i like to see..
Bean blubbered at [01:49]
Bookmark Side B where it belonged now.. Chapter 29 of The Last Jury..
Bean blubbered at [01:31]
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Bookmark Side B (Zoomed Out More!)
Bean blubbered at [01:30]
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Bookmark Side B (Zoomed Out)
Bean blubbered at [01:30]
Bookmark (Side B)
Bean blubbered at [01:29]
Self-made a bookmark by lamination in camp !! nice?? (Side A)
Bean blubbered at [01:29]
My new bed spread & my mini shopping spree...
Bean blubbered at [01:04]
Holy place amongst the red-lighted geylang??
Bean blubbered at [01:03]
Red Getz driven by Timberty but owned by Timberty sis.. shot taken from a proton wira.
Bean blubbered at [01:03]
D24 Durians they so craved for..
Bean blubbered at [01:02]
Close shot of OK Hao who was driving n just beside me..
Bean blubbered at [01:01]
Vision of a drunk?? (Unaimed shot)
Bean blubbered at [01:01]
Vision of a normal person.. (Unaimed shot)
Bean blubbered at [01:00]
A peek at NEP too.. unaimed again.. buck teeth n all by 2B Ong..
Bean blubbered at [01:00]
Un-aimed shot of 2B Ong's veri casual dressing..
Bean blubbered at [00:59]
Night Scenery around Geylang Eateries..
Bean blubbered at [00:58]
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while i was in camp, midweek, i received 2 more sms replies to the 3-worded qn.. snow gave me cool, fun-loving & friendly. lovefusion10 gave me reliable, emotional & thinker... hmmm... thanks for responding my frens..
booked out on friday evening. went out with the guys after unpacking my stuff. the guys this time included "November Echo Papa", "OK Hao", "2B Ong", "Potato", "Make Insurance" & the bright red Getz driver "Timberty". makan marathon again.. heh.. 1st stop: Old Airport Road. "OK Hao" droved the rented Proton Wira. the same one we sat the other day. i've always liked his driving. veri fun. yet safe..
we had wanton mee and cha kway teow with sugarcane drink at old airport road. then went "sight seeing" at U-turn KTV pub. juz to borrow their toilet. would ya believe it? haha.. smoke was in the air and all those vietnamese gals there realli dressed in a pretty "meaty" manner. jostling around there is dangerous i felt coz i dun wanna be misunderstood of brushing past them. urgh!
my buddy was there drowning his sorrows out as expected with "Mike Chua", Raymond, Leslie & "Red Leaf". they toast me a mug of beer and insisted that i drink at least a sip. tried to refuse but for "politeness", i took a sip. it was an eye opener. "Mike Chua" realli could sing. he ain't paiseh singing out in the open loh.. if me, sure die.. haha..
after the toilet break, we went to geylang. they wanted to eat durians. personally i dun like to eat durians.. 50% of the truth is that i dun wanna eat food that require me to dirty my hand as i eat them. other reasons include i dun realli think it taste or smell that good enough to be worthed dirtying my hands/fingers for.. haha.. can say i'm a pretty lazy eater. same goes for prawns n crabs..
in the end, we went there eat "you tiao da wang". played zhong ji mi ma coz there were surplus you tiao. And "2B Ong" lost twice.. haha.. Fun!! after eating, we went for a eyeful.. walking thru the Lorongs of Geylang.. hmmm.. we walked up n down a few lorongs, caught an eyeful then decided to head else where. planned to go esplanade there to unwind, get some breeze, chit-chat etc.. but not being able to find a 7-11 nearby wrecked our plans. the nearest 7-11 that was there was under renovation.
decided to go yishun dam. but on the way there, 4 outta 7 of us fell asleep. it was around 3-4am already. so we stopped at amk ave 1 and changed plans. oni me, OKH & Tim were realli still awake. tim sent potato, 2B Ong & Insurance home. OKH sent NEP then me home, passing by upper pierce reservoir (but unfortunately no monkeys around to see) & also Dieppe Barracks. Poor OKH! he had to drive to Toa PaYoh to return the vehicle then take a bus home. was tempted to accompany him all da way but i too was pretty tired.. felt realli bad here..
i reached home n slept at around 5+am. got outta bed oni around 2+pm. but i wasn't realli sleeping all da way lah! i was trying to finish my book be4 the taiwan trip so i could start on the new book. hmmm.. ok folks.. i need to go out now.. wanna do some shopping.. heh.. alone though.. coz there's no one there to company me.. (jm confined, kp lazy, dn bz) haiz. suan le bah..
Bean blubbered at [15:53]
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hmmm... jinny said i was tenacious, ambitious and devoted. devoted i'd like to be.. i realli wish i can believe what she said. ambitious? i dunno.. hmmm... i wonder what gives her that idea.. (jinny, explain to me lei..) hmmm.. i felt tenacious gave me a veri 'savage' feeling.. maybe it's coz of influence in soccer.. & so, i checked out the meaning of tenacious at www.dictionary.com. this is what it says...
1. Holding or tending to hold persistently to something, such as a point of view.
2. Holding together firmly; cohesive: a tenacious material.
3. Clinging to another object or surface; adhesive: tenacious lint.
4. Tending to retain; retentive: a tenacious memory
turned out i find it describes me pretty well.. i find it hard to let go.. whatever it is.. feelings, possessions, whatever.. hmmm... i'm doing well now.. occasionally the tinge of sadness do come back but yeah i'm handling it well.. i hope she'll be happy too.. sincerely.. i duno whether i should but i do still like her.. tenacious trait of mine again? haha..
btw, to remind my frens again.. i'm going Taiwan (Gao Xiong) with my unit 1st Battalion Singapore Guards for overseas training from 29th March till 30th April. leave will start on 24th March. this is the 2nd time i'm going overseas with my unit. *sigh* again.. again i go overseas with my unit juz after i ended a relationship. hmm.. this time i'm feeling much betta than the last time.. this time i dun feel the need for the one month overseas to think it thru.. haha.. so i've improved again? kekeke..
i gave a thought. i think we were better frens be4 we got together.. it's a dreadful feeling to noe that it juz ain't gonna be the same anymore.. hmmm... is that a price to pay for expressing ur feeling? i've always believed that i'll rather express my feeling n be rejected than to hold back n regret one day.. perhaps jinny is rite that i try too hard finding love instead of letting it find me... love is complex. but i'll learn.. hee ;)
Bean blubbered at [21:34]
Your Brain is 60.00% Female, 40.00% Male |
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve |
Bean blubbered at [21:29]
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this pic.. it juz reminds me of something.. it's not hard to guess la har..
Bean blubbered at [20:31]
midori is rite.. i should try to move on. else she will suffer too.. often i will think that i'm the only one feeling upset. but i feel much worst when somehow i made her upset coz she felt guilty of no crime. she didn't commit any crime loh.. humans err.. must learn to be more gracious. at least i managed to give someone happiness. though short it may be but as long as it's regarded, appreciated, recognized... i think it's still worthwhile..
i will try to move on. i must try to seek some joy in my life. though sad by the sudden demise of the r'ship,... well.. i'm sure both of us hv benfitted a lil' from it in terms of experience. perhaps i should try to live up to be a man of integrity, dignity and truthfulness. juz like pink might not be appreciated by me.. but it is appreciated by a lot others.. it's not a lousy color juz coz i dun like it. i shouldn't flatten myself.. maybe i hv some good in me afterall.. *grinz*
maybe i can move on n be happy when i see that she is happy too... hmmm... ez to say hard to execute la.. say is ez. talk is cheap. hmmm... must work hard.. i must hv confidence in myself.. i believe i can change.. where there's a will, there's a way.. juz gimme some time.. i believe that winners dun quit n quitters dun win. if i give up on myself, then no hope le.. am i self soothing? hmmm... maybe i am a good crapper.. haha.. take pride on that man, melvyn! haha.. i like to be happy. i like to bring joy to others. n i can't bring joy to others when i'm not happy.. ok, i will try my best to pick myself up.. =)
oh ya, new additions to the 3-word-descriptions.. yongchai say i straightforward, stubborn, loyal. suku say i sensitive, mild-tempered & easy-going.. any comments my frens? hee =) i'm trying to find seconder to support them so i can believe that is not a one off feeling.. ask me to comment ain't very good loh.. all a bit correct la.. some pretty accurate like dav.. as long can live to ur conscience, integrity n dignifiedly... it's good le.. yeah i want that.. can i realli be a goody like that? haha.. dun forget i got my playful, notti, lazy, careless streak.. not ez.. but try bahz..
Bean blubbered at [15:24]
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i'm stumped. i'm too mindful of offending ppl. to the extent that i dun dare make a statement. unless i noe the person well and i feel comfortable to make known to the person my dislike for this or that. esp when it comes to a contrasting opinion from the person. i dun even feel comfortable enuff with jm sometimes.. hmm...
am i a wimp? dun dare to make a stand? everyone can be a mcp mah.. juz hv to be inconsiderate a bit, brashy a bit etc. everyone can be inconsiderate rite? hmmm.. haiz. suan le.. i noe whatever it is, nothing's gonna change. juz felt that it's a fine line between being a wimp and being veri considerate. ditto for an mcp and an objective person. it's the way u see it perhaps. ala milk half full or half empty..
can one realli love without seeking returns? realli veri hard. if i could, i wouldn't feel sad le.. i'm not perfect oso.. i feel i do seek returns too.. hmmm... so i'm materialistic?
i'm not the person i wish i am. character wise i mean. i decided to ask around if given three words to describe me what would they use... hmmm..
she said i was shy, friendly & considerate. i felt that it was a pretty conservative n safe answer to give..
Dav gave me Reserved, Trustworthy & Playful.. hmm.. it's pretty true.. esp the reserved n playful part.. i've always had a playful streak.. n i'm glad to be thought of as trustworthy. thanks dav..
HL gave me Quiet, Shy but Trustworthy. hmm.. why is trustworthy repeated? hmm.. i mean it's good la.. and i've always wanted to feel worth trusting.. yeah maybe it's something i realli wanted but i din noe.. =)
PC say stubborn, nice but silly. hmmm... i juz felt nice was a veri common word. only one to say me silly. hmmm...? am i silly? *twitch mouth & eye brows* well, scorpios are said to be stubborn mah.. am i? i dunno realli.. maybe i'll be convinced if more ppl said so.
Dislike to be shy n quiet. or reserved. i wanna change myself.. i was thinking maybe i would be labelled wimp, over-sensitive(SNAG), irritating, noisy, lame, unconfident & insecure..
and i dunno whether i'm pessimistic or optimistic. anyone to tell me? dav says both. he says i'm pessimistic abt myself. optimistic to situations. hmmm... lotsa reflecting n thinking to do..
Bean blubbered at [15:40]
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my mind's a blank. i dunno what to blog. or maybe i dunno how to blog. perhaps there're somethings i juz dun wanna reveal. hmmm.. i'll juz blog what i feel.
i like it when i was on 72 with a shoulder to lend.
i like it when i held her hands thru out bugis n everywhere.
i like it when i was asked of my feelings every now n then.
i like it when u were angry yet u sms-ed coz u cared.
i dread it when i was down at tp & went back alone.
i dread it when i sms-ed or called & there wasn't a reply.
i dread it when u felt i irritated & i felt hurt to the bone.
i dread it when we were together yet love can't comply.
i liked the memories.. reliving them a bit.. haha.. whoever read this dun get mad at me har.. had to bend them around to get it to rhythm a lil' ma.. pardon my lousy poetry and lamer-tism.. kekeke.. =P
gotta book in loh. take care all.. drink more water. visit the loo often.(so ah ma hor?) the weather's so bad these days. so many ppl fall ill from the crowd i see at Tan Tock Seng Hospital. lucky my health didn't fail me. i recovered.. hee ;)
Bean blubbered at [20:44]
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damn.. i scored one missed another good chance today in the first half of the match. half time losing 1-2. rain caused the match to be abandoned.. i'm sure we were the stronger team. so i reckon we'll overturn the deficit n win eventually one. but dun hv the chance coz rain so heavy. went to bishan to have lunch n walk around with the guys. then sang ktv from 1400 to 1900h. was freaking cold in there loh.. sang lotsa mayday songs..
i tot i can book in tomolo after blood test but not allowed. sianz. no mood to blog le.. haven eat. haven pack. feel miserable. urgh.
Bean blubbered at [20:36]
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i broke up. it juz isn't going anywhere from all the waiting. much as i dun like to do that over sms or a phonecall, i had no choice. she didn't wanna meet up. emotionally not ready to talk to me. haiz. it was also the only way i could see her return back to her splendour.. it doesn't matter how i feel.. it's secondary. when u like someone, u'd realli want her to be happy. see her unhappy, u ain't happy either.
the past week has been torturous. i couldn't eat well. couldn't sleep well. fell ill. fever. headache. got myself IV dripped. had blood tested for dengue. amidst all these, the worst i felt was being ignored by her. the worst was seeing her on msn n i couldn't talk to her. the monitor so cold so emotionless i grew fear of it. during nights off, i wouldn't even dare to go home.
i have a match tomolo. i'm going for it. i think i should be fit enough to play.. mentally... i think can la.. i wanna score tomolo!
Bean blubbered at [16:28]
someone told me i was too rushed. he feels that i should have let time for it to grow. now i wanna reverse back time. i wanna let her get to noe me better. sometimes i realli dun understand why one can be so stressed up juz because the person is in a r'ship. it's not like the r'ship restricts u. perhaps it's a first time so she's not used to it... maybe she feels that she has to fulfill a set of tasks when her title is gf, n when she dun hv time to fulfill them etc, she is stressed. i dunno..
much as i'd like the r'ship to work out, i dun like to force anyone. i think maybe we could try all over again. juz be frens if she is more comfortable that way n get to noe one another better.. if fate allows, we might get together if it's not to be, we'll still hv each other as frens.. what do u think?
i seek to noe why girls are so easily stressed... i seek to noe how to make her feel more relaxed with me.. i'm no monster mah.. i juz wanna noe the real u.. i oso hope u'll get to noe more abt me and understand me..
Bean blubbered at [10:35]
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ytd nite book in. this morning book out again. attend c again. i went to the medical centre and showed the medical officer the rashes i had. he asked me whether i had felt giddy more easily, i said yes. my temperature taken there today was 37.5 degrees celsius. he gave me attend c status for the day and a recommendation letter to go Tan Tock Seng Hospital A&E Department to get a blood test. suspected dengue..
urgh.. hope i dun get admitted.. i'll dread the boredom there.. going off le.. =( wish me good luck man..
Bean blubbered at [11:32]
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hmmm... booking in soon. with ah ma making sure i take my medicine regularly as well as drink her "liang" water ie water chestnut etc, my fever n headache nv bothered me much since i came back from camp. going back into camp, i realli dunno whether i should carry on eating the medicine. i seemed to hv recovered. but there is some worrying signs of a rash breaking out. hmmm.. it could mean dengue.. my qn is with no fever n little or no headache but with rash, is it still dengue fever? hmmm... betta get the medical officer to examine me again tomolo morning. i think prolly is juz ah ma being cautious la.. should be ok one.. i feel fine n fit now... =)
Bean blubbered at [20:53]
the r'ship between me n my dad is so bad that when i stay home for these two days, he didn't think anything was wrong. yeah, i didn't tell him. but i didn't tell ah ma also mah. but she probed and guessed right. she's the one who has been realli caring n concerned abt my condition. made 2 cups of honey for me made sure i ate the panadol she gave me. now called to ask whether i took breakfast n medicine.. volunteered to prepare porridge for my lunch.. hmmm... can say i'm fortunate in a sense..
ever since mum past away, i've like to tell myself i'm not affected. ppl apologize when they ask abt my family n i reply that my mum past away coz of liver cancer but i realli juz shrug them off as i noe i had gotten over the hurt of losing her.. it's over. it's not as hurtful as before. but as the years go back, i know it affected me emotionally n socially.
my family ain't as together anymore. my dad was working the night shift usually. he was a F&B manager at various different places. our bond weren't very close. mum was the link. somethings i feel comfortable to tell mum but not comfortable to tell dad. but dad would noe anyway. why? coz mum will translate it to dad. mum was working an 8-6 kinda clerical job. i remember i would ask mum to buy back newpaper sometimes coz i couldn't afford to. seeing her record newpaper on her daily diary of expenditure gave me a veri guilty feeling.
mum was thrifty. she even records the expenditure of bus fare into her book. seldom i see her buy stuff for herself. if u look thru her book, u'll see clearly that it's us. the children who spends most of her money. her hard earned money. now she's gone.. how am i to repay her? never can i do it.. i used to think.. i wanna study hard get a good pay and treat her realli realli well.. i'm forever indebt to her.. mum, i do miss u thou i seldom say it..
Bean blubbered at [10:41]
2nd day on attend c at home. dun intend to eat the panadol. i dun wanna eat excessively. probably eat if the fever comes back or a sever migraine hits me.. there's absolutely nothing to do at home. online so long also boring.. dun hv mood to chat on msn either. can't go out coz it'll be considered awol if i'm on attend c and i'm not at home. anyway, tonite going back to camp le..
i wanna be able to drive. i wanna own a car. but in singapore it's juz too expensive.. often i think, why should i learn how to drive and get a license when i can't afford to get a car to drive? i'm not veri comfortable borrowing from ppl. asking closed ones is like forcing them to oblige coz of the close r'ship. i dun like to force ppl. i dun quite like the idea of driving a motorbike around. it's pretty dangerous..
but.. after atec(trip to taiwan), when eeping gets his class 2a license, he intend to enrol for class 3. he asked me to join him. i agreed coz i thought it was abt time and basically after atec army won't hv anything much for us le.. so would prolly hv plenty of long weekends to go n learn. i intend to get it on my first try.. ambitious? haha.. my mum used to tell me she got it on her first try while all her siblings needed at least 2 times.. heh..
if i realli want a car fast, i shouldn't be studying uni. i'd be better off working and saving up. is having a car that important? convenience u say.. but taking cab can be juz as convenient isn't it? ever thought of hving to wash ur car, maintain the paint or waxing it both externally n internally when u're tired from a weeks work n juz feel like lazing around on bed on a sunny sunday?? then the other concern is the monthly installments u hv to pay.. the parking fees? haiz.. why is money so important to life?
Bean blubbered at [10:06]
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Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Yurks! That's my hand !! they put me on drip when i was 38.3 degrees celsius. after the drip it dropped to 37.1. but 2 days later it went up again to 38. thus i'm home to post this pic..
Bean blubbered at [15:30]
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