the r'ship between me n my dad is so bad that when i stay home for these two days, he didn't think anything was wrong. yeah, i didn't tell him. but i didn't tell ah ma also mah. but she probed and guessed right. she's the one who has been realli caring n concerned abt my condition. made 2 cups of honey for me made sure i ate the panadol she gave me. now called to ask whether i took breakfast n medicine.. volunteered to prepare porridge for my lunch.. hmmm... can say i'm fortunate in a sense..
ever since mum past away, i've like to tell myself i'm not affected. ppl apologize when they ask abt my family n i reply that my mum past away coz of liver cancer but i realli juz shrug them off as i noe i had gotten over the hurt of losing her.. it's over. it's not as hurtful as before. but as the years go back, i know it affected me emotionally n socially.
my family ain't as together anymore. my dad was working the night shift usually. he was a F&B manager at various different places. our bond weren't very close. mum was the link. somethings i feel comfortable to tell mum but not comfortable to tell dad. but dad would noe anyway. why? coz mum will translate it to dad. mum was working an 8-6 kinda clerical job. i remember i would ask mum to buy back newpaper sometimes coz i couldn't afford to. seeing her record newpaper on her daily diary of expenditure gave me a veri guilty feeling.
mum was thrifty. she even records the expenditure of bus fare into her book. seldom i see her buy stuff for herself. if u look thru her book, u'll see clearly that it's us. the children who spends most of her money. her hard earned money. now she's gone.. how am i to repay her? never can i do it.. i used to think.. i wanna study hard get a good pay and treat her realli realli well.. i'm forever indebt to her.. mum, i do miss u thou i seldom say it..
Bean blubbered at [10:41]
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Thursday, March 03, 2005
the r'ship between me n my dad is so bad that when i stay home for these two days, he didn't think anything was wrong. yeah, i didn't tell him. but i didn't tell ah ma also mah. but she probed and guessed right. she's the one who has been realli caring n concerned abt my condition. made 2 cups of honey for me made sure i ate the panadol she gave me. now called to ask whether i took breakfast n medicine.. volunteered to prepare porridge for my lunch.. hmmm... can say i'm fortunate in a sense..
ever since mum past away, i've like to tell myself i'm not affected. ppl apologize when they ask abt my family n i reply that my mum past away coz of liver cancer but i realli juz shrug them off as i noe i had gotten over the hurt of losing her.. it's over. it's not as hurtful as before. but as the years go back, i know it affected me emotionally n socially.
my family ain't as together anymore. my dad was working the night shift usually. he was a F&B manager at various different places. our bond weren't very close. mum was the link. somethings i feel comfortable to tell mum but not comfortable to tell dad. but dad would noe anyway. why? coz mum will translate it to dad. mum was working an 8-6 kinda clerical job. i remember i would ask mum to buy back newpaper sometimes coz i couldn't afford to. seeing her record newpaper on her daily diary of expenditure gave me a veri guilty feeling.
mum was thrifty. she even records the expenditure of bus fare into her book. seldom i see her buy stuff for herself. if u look thru her book, u'll see clearly that it's us. the children who spends most of her money. her hard earned money. now she's gone.. how am i to repay her? never can i do it.. i used to think.. i wanna study hard get a good pay and treat her realli realli well.. i'm forever indebt to her.. mum, i do miss u thou i seldom say it..
Blabbered
bean
@
10:41
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