Firstly, I'll like to state first and foremost that I'm not a catholic nor christian. I won't forcibly preach any religion to you. That said, I've an open mind. And I'm a believer of faith..
Sometimes i really feel we can learn from the bible..
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." ~ Marilyn Monroe
Just read this news article on the Sunday times by Sumiko Tan titled, 'Entering a new r'ship when you're older & hopefully wiser".. Felt it's really insightful..
Here's a small excerpt: "When you've been single for a while, you view starting a new r'ship with a huge dose of trepidation.You''ve been thru it all & you're tired.
You know too well how it often starts nicely but ends horribly. You know how hard it is for 2 ppl to compromise, which is what r'ships r all abt and u know it's even harder when u're older, set in ur own ways, live in different continents & hv been scarred by r'ships past."
"If there is suffering, then it’s best to accept it, because it won’t go away just because you pretend it’s not there. If there is joy, then it’s best to accept that too, even though you’re afraid it might end one day."
- Paulo Coelho
I met you for the first time bringing some bbq chicken to you. The first thing in my mind was that you're really luck that you've got an owner who truly pampers you la.. i don't see this kinda pampering on a pet often la.. Buying 2 BBQ chicken wings and sharing with you 50-50 !! haha.. generous indeed.. I was very foolishly bemused as i watch you eat the chicken wings.. crunching your way thru.. and then before i noticed it, not even the bones are left ! i was kinda amazed !! On hind sight, it was kinda silly.. i mean of course dogs eat the bones.. Today u left us.. hopefully for a better place to rest.. Despite having been bitten on the finger by you while trying to pat pat you and been with you for only a day, i feel saddened that i will not ever get to pat pat you again..i can totally imagine the sadness in your owner.. a person whose had u for 9 years.. i truly believe that you'll live on in the memories of those who loved u lots.. just like how your owner has stayed in mine.. =)
Had my first tennis coaching tonight.. learnt lots from coach Lawrence. After the lesson, really felt that it's worthwhile to get some form of proper coaching. Fundamental things that need to be correct right from the start.. had this thought in my head as i was waiting for bus to go home..
"If we let any of money, laze or fear of failure/embarrassment dictate our decisions in life too much, we'll be nothing but a hamster running on a wheel.."
I was on the way to Bugis to meet some friends for dinner and hangout. It was raining and I walked into the shelter of the bus stop in front of my office building. I looked up at the electronic board for the number of the bus I want to board to check out the estimated arrival timing.
26 mins !! My god ! So long ?! I turned to my iPhone for amusement to kill some time as I waited. Checked out some facebook notifications. Went on the iPhone app iM+ to find someone to chat. J was online.
me: hi.. eaten dinner?
J: yupz. u?
me: going to.. but am waiting for a freaking long bus. me: sibei sian..
J: then take a short bus la.
me: lol me: 26 mins u noe? so long la !
... some chit chat banter later ...
me: hey! my bus is here.. me: The board still says 8 mins more. Luckily, I looked out for it.
J: ohh.. bus service very efficient!
me: hmmmm... errr... me: I'm not sure about Melbourne but in SG, NOTHING is too efficient for ppl. me: Over here, ppl will just say that the electronic board is slow in updating or bad in estimating. me: Then they will conjure up some possible "valid" reasoning to back them up like the mis-estimation cause them to miss the bus, thus missing some IMPORTANT apptments etc..
The pace of life in Singapore is already quite hectic as it is. You can tell from the pace of people walking to the amount of road rage witnessed. It's become a norm for them to be walking so fast. The pace with which a person speaks also increases and this, in part, is how the basis of some Singlish slangs originates. The quick, short & efficient bursts of words to complete the sentenses meant to be conveyed.
The youtube link above is Steve Jobs' Commencement Address at Stanford University in 2005.
I personally find his speech very meaningful and truly inspiring.. Hmmm.. I would really love to meet some wise old man like Steve Jobs, Morrie Schwartz or Paulo Coelho someday.. or perhaps, if I may be fortunate enough, to find one in the mirror some day.. =)
In summary, his whole speech touched us with a couple of stories:
In life, we can only "connect the dots BACKWARDS" never forward. I think it's so true that in life, the dots just connect up.. The dots may be high or low but eventually the low points played just as big a part (to the high points) to form the image at the end.
When we're at a low point, we may lose confidence to follow the heart.
I think he's trying to tell us to be confident in doing what your heart want us to do. Someday sometime, the dots will connect.
Love & Loss Jobs talked about his founding of Macintosh, being sacked, starting over & returning again stronger & better. He urges us to identify what we love, keep looking & don't settle easily, and we'll do great work because great work comes from doing what we love.
The Face of Death "If you live each day as if it were your last, someday you would be most definitely be right.."
Jobs suggests that we could ask yourself everyday if you love what you are going to do today. If you find yourself answering 'no' a few times, it's time to do something abt it.
Jobs talked about his discovery of a tumour in his pancreas which opens his eyes to the truth that "all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure fall away in the face of death. Leaving ONLY what is truly important."
He :
Urges us not to fall into the trap of thinking you have something to lose.
Reminds us that our time is limited (as does everyone before us).
Advices us not to waste our times living out somebody else's life.
Don't be trap by dogma (which is living with the results of other people's thinking).
Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out our own inner voice.
Most importantly, to have the courage to follow our heart and intuition. They somehow already know what we truly want to become.
I've been reading quite a bit of novels by Paulo Coelho & Mitch Albom that encourages me to think and see more into my own life and things happening around. A tad philosophical perhaps but I've always loved to ponder (sometimes pointlessly) on abt life and being curious with why things turn out the way they do..
I'd just like to share my feelings about a novel, The Zahir by Paulo Coelho that enlightened me a great deal and taught me to manage my feelings properly. The title of this book did not attract me one bit! Perhaps it just wasn't an attractive word by itself without knowing the meaning of it.
This book was so helpful to me and it made so much sense in a difficult time of complications within me that I actually read a couple of pages (not literally just two pages lah!) and then I would stop reading. I want it to last longer. I didn't wanna blaze thru it feeling top of the world and then dropping back down to earth the minute i finished it.
In a way, I reckon it's like everything u learn. If you don't practice it, you just don't improve nor understand it fully. So I would read a couple of pages, sleep on it for a while trying to absorb it further. Then try applying analogies I'd interpreted onto myself and ponder on further.
I'm very fond of seeking inspirations from aphorisms. Here's some i picked up from my recent readings which i realli like..
The Zahir - Paulo Coelho:
"Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused."
"There is nothing worse than the feeling that no one cares whether we exist or not, that no one is interested in what we have to say about life, and that the world can continue turning without our awkward presence."
"Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose - and commit myself to - what is best for me."
"A fatally wounded soldier never asks the medical team: “Please save me!” His last words are usually: “Tell my wife and son that I love them.” At the last moment, they speak of love."
"(There's) a time to rend and a time to sew.."
"If there is suffering, then it’s best to accept it, because it won’t go away just because you pretend it’s not there. If there is joy, then it’s best to accept that too, even though you’re afraid it might end one day.
Some people can only relate to life through sacrifice and renunciation. Some people can only feel part of humanity when they think they are ‘happy’."
"All you have to do is to pay attention; lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step "
"What man of you, having an hundred sheep if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it ??? "
"The Zahir is someone or something which, once we have come into contact with them or it, gradually occupies every thought."
For One More Day - Mitch Albom:
"An echo is the persistance of sound waves after its source has stopped.."
"An echo can only exist with the presence of a surface for the sound waves to bounce off of.."
"An echo is heard where the surroundings are quiet.."
Many women in Singapore are lovely and lustrously groomed.
The most stylish ones are beautifully shod. Glossy hair, manicures that appear perpetually day-old and spa-fresh skin - I know I'd love to look more like them.
The only thing missing? A smile or expression.
Quite often there is a hard look instead, which easily sabotages all the expensive effort to look great.
But I like to think we have an inner light that's meant to show on our faces. Signs of life and vitality truly transform a girl from good-looker to radiant stunner who captivates eye, imagination and soul.
I know big cities like Singapore can be impersonal so our defensive masks go up.
There is a lot of rush and stress and competition. All that will show in our clenched faces and bodies.
And, of course, we cannot pretend there are no stormy seasons in life or days when we can barely breathe.
But what if our default expression is a vacant gaze? And if our eyes always betray loss of rest, disdain or worse?
I hope our hard-driving lifestyle will not wipe out real smiles and sparkling spirits in the city.
Having said that, I know a smile can easily hide as much as it reveals.
Paradoxically, I discovered this to be so true in Thailand, the land of smiles.
When I lived in Bangkok, I delighted in the smiles of the Thais and their enjoyment of life.
But I quickly learnt that the Thais have a smile for every emotion. There is a sad smile. People even put on a happy face when they are hurt, insulted or try to defuse conflicts.
Once, a rushing cab nearly knocked a motorcyclist off his bike in the tiny, gritty, busy soi outside my apartment. The angry biker's eyes flashed and I thought he'd go berserk.
But the errant cabbie grinned and bowed, and the biker grinned and bowed right back. In seconds, all was forgiven.
With so many nuances of the smile, the Thai smile often hides more than it reveals, anthropologist Niels Mulder said in his classic, Inside Thai Society.
That was true of my part-time cleaner, Praparn. The single mother whose husband had abandoned the family always wore a sweet smile.
But her eyes were wistful. I also wondered if she was mildly traumatised, just looking at the way she arranged my bottles of skincare and stuff in obsessively straight lines.
For a while, I also wished she'd mop the floor more.
My Thai was unsophisticated and so whatever I tried to convey to her, my floor remained a little dusty and straight lines stayed in my bathroom.
One day, I drove back to the apartment with my bright young Thai assistant who interpreted as I told Praparn about the floor.
Me, I'm non-confrontational, so I was starting to be light-hearted as Praparn was smiling and responding softly.
But my colleague slipped in a comment: 'She's getting defensive.'
Astonished, I asked: 'But how do you know? She's smiling.'
Replied my colleague: 'She's starting to interrupt me.'
At once we softened the exchange. I assured Praparn that I appreciated her work, and only wanted both parties to be happier and clearer by stating some expectations. I asked for her thoughts too.
So a smile is not always a smile.
So maybe when Singapore women do not smile, it may not mean anything much.
Yet I say it's not flattering to pair a cold look with a gorgeous face.
And also I remember being struck when a fashion designer declared on TV that his runway models looked very different.
'They look like they are thinking,'' he said.
Sure enough, runway scenes of his models showed that their beautiful faces were reflective and alive. They had personality. Each young woman possessed an innate glow that still moves me, years later.
That vitality was their best feature. It did exceedingly more for the models - and the entranced audience - than their perfect make-up and uber-stylish clothes.
They make me wonder how we can glow more too.
Then I remember the people I know whose smiles and expressions have changed over the years. A couple or so have a hard-edged look, but a great many look cooler and more liberated now.
They're ageing in reverse, I tell them.
I'm guessing they have the confidence of experience, and are much alive to possibilities too.
I really share the view of the author of this article.. Why don't people smile more, take a step back more, chill and relax.. My initial thought is that women in Singapore wanna look/act more sophisticated. They've probably grown past of the silly giggly school girl mentality.
Why are so many of us so impatient? I often see my driver friend getting all worked out while driving.. Would I have reacted in the same way too if I drive as frequently as him?
Personally i like to smile. I agree with the bit in the article about a sad smile and a joyous ecstatic smile.. and that smiles do solve problems in life sometimes.. as in the case of the sorry thai motorist..
Dreams.. :( what kinda dreams do you prefer? The good ones that you wake up feeling shortchanged or the scary ones you wake up feeling relieved but frightened at the remote possibility?
For me, the good kind really sucks.. I just had a wonderful sweet dream.. But having woken up,.. I'm in this shit all over again.. I feel so played.. Arrggghhhh.....
ikea are having this clearance sale this weekend. I mass emailed my aunts/uncles in hope that one of them wanna go take a look there. I wanna pick up another $19 rug after my satisfaction with the last one i got.. Had also hoped to pick up some cheap bargains.. and getting a ride to and fro is most convenient, especially when i dun wanna lug home some heavy, bulky rugs n stuff..
had lunch there.. swedish meat balls.. Being caught by the cold air conditioning at ikea suddenly as i entered the building, the chill on my arms reminded me of a past shopping experience there..
I was weak n just about recovered from my fever bout(actually maybe i hadn't fully recovered yet).. but i wanted very much to accompany my... friend. so i went ahead.. it was very cold that day too.. and i broke into cold sweat.. feeling cold n uncomfortable.. i've never felt this much discomfort n outta place before when sick. usually when i'm sick, i'd be at home.. thus, that was a very unique experience..
hmmmm.. it wasn't a very pleasant memory but yet i'd wanna be in that position right now..
sometimes i hv some thoughts that i tot i might wanna blog. i put it off to later, and yes you're rite, they're gone/forgotten/forsaken.
I've some photos which i wanted to post on fb n the blog too.. but then i just keep putting them off. maybe i feel there is just no point..
i haven't been keeping to my one blogpost per week for my other blog. sometimes i hv a tot i dun blog immediately due to some inconvenience or some troublesome stuff i end up forgetting abt it all..
ah well, maybe i'm just too busy with life to be bothered with the online persona..
After a week of army In-Camp Training(ICT), I'm glad to say that I've thoroughly enjoyed the company of my platoon mates so much so that the hardship is really quite nothing.
It's kinda like a holiday getaway for 5 day 6 nights with my mates.. Of course none of us like the waiting, the heat, the sweat, the smelly bits, the chow keng ppl, the hectic schedule but i'm sure hving the company of close pals realli made it so much easier to go thru..
J asked me if i missed the internet. I've gotta say I'd never have seen this coming from me a year ago. But I'm proud to say I didn't miss the internet at all.
Maybe I've seen thru it.. Cured myself of the addiction to it. I loved the conveniences the internet brings but I reckon I'm no longer an addict.
The internet is like an enormous volume of information. The human individual is, by nature, curious for more knowledge.
You have a demand and a supply. Deal !
Addiction occurs.
To cure the addiction, you have to learn to let go.
Information is boundless. Internet have stretched the accessibility of it for common ppl like me and you to be boundless too and we can't handle boundless information. Thus, we have to learn to let it go sometimes..
i woke up. sunday morning.. fatigue-ridden body from the previous day's soccer.. aching arms & legs.. opened my eyes and see a beautiful image. right there. in front of my eyes. on my wall..
I tot I'll share it here.. =) A subtle msg from mother nature? a flight to freedom? or bill gates' attempt to convert the mac-loving me towards windows?
My sis and i went shopping ard MS(coincidentally also shares the same initials as me & her) and saw this poster outside this shop. From the side of my glance, I thought it was an interestingly insane and wacky ad poster of a girl. Upon taking a second look, I realised the wobbly leg effect was purely accidental..
This is the X-Ray of my entire teeth set i did a couple or so weeks ago.. It's actually reversed. That is, what you see on the left of the picture is on my right side of my face.
According to the dentist, there has been no visible signs of any wisdom tooth growth as yet in my mouth. However after the X-ray, we discovered a wisdom tooth growing out on the left side of my upper set of teeth.
I'm still kinda amused that I will only have one wisdom tooth in my life time.. Why is that?! So bizarre... Most ppl have 4!!! hmmmm... Am I underdeveloped? or just slow? LOL..
I've since scheduled a tooth extraction date for the decaying teeth in the upper set of teeth. (Don't wanna cause complications for my precious one and only outgrowing wisdom tooth). Let's hope it goes well. =)
This is my running route! Estimatedly measured (using the legend provided by google maps) to be about 2.4km - 2.5km long.. Perfecto! The red 'X' marks my place.. I usually stop a distance from my place then cool down and catch back my breathe with a stroll home..
Instead of wasting time thinking up points to blame others when in a bad situation, sometimes focusing on positives can bring about a new experience that can be surprisingly enriching to oneself.
As the old adage goes, “When one door closes, another opens". We often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
While people complain about taking public transport to work, I'm glad to be able to take the positives from my traveling experience. Public transport has been the perfect time for me to read a book/novel.. Having a conveniently accessible work location on Orchard Road like mine helped lots. A mere 15 mins bus ride plus 15 mins train ride to and fro makes good reading time!
If you'd spend some time and reflect upon the recent happenings in your life, sometimes you'll be surprised how close minded you become when you get 'forced' to do things.
It's come to me that positives are often hidden away in a negatively perceived situation. Take for instance, me having to sleep over at granny's place during the weekdays was initially thought upon as a chore even though i certainly don't mind spending more time with her. Why?! For the simple fact that I had felt that the situation had presented itself in a manner which left me without a choice.
Immediately my mind was closed once I sensed the lack of a choice. Excuses such as no internet there. No air conditioning. Troublesome to bring over clothes for sleeping over. No privacy etc etc.
However, after a couple of months of staying over, I've reflected and felt that it has definitely turned out to be a positive experience for me.
I found time.
Time to reflect. Time to read. Time to rest and relax. Time to do some exercise. and also, time to watch my TV shows on my laptop instead of dl-ing within a couple of hours but struggling to find time to watch them. Normally I would wake up at 7am at home n struggle to get to work on time! coz i'm quite the internet addict. time away from the internet is good..
Nowadays i wake up slack a bit on the mattress. Stoned for what seemed like ages. And still i have more spare time than when I'm home. Then I could sit back and slowly eat my breakfast, enjoy the freshly brewed coffee by Ah Ma and have some chit-chat with her. Visit the 'throne'. then get dressed for work. Somehow, amazingly, time was sssstretcheddd.....
In the stressful, fast-paced working life of Singapore, many simple pleasures and joys often got lost in the whirlwind. People rush to work, work the whole day and then rush back home to slp. then continue that repetitive cycle. It's zombifying.. In life, we need small goals and targets to keep oneself mentally balanced and to feel encouraged.
This fitness routine I've started is both a small goal and challenge I've gave myself. It's like there's this tiny lil' man in my head that says I can't last this fitness routine for long and it just makes me more determined to prove him wrong! I'd know that as long as I keep up, I'll gain that little bit of satisfaction from accomplishing the small goals and making that lil' man in the head eat my shorts !! =)
Really, really cooing to this song at the moment..! Absolutely love it! Gives you the lift u need to counter the effects of a boring day at work. The lyrics of course are also well written.. =)
Song Title: Gotta Be Somebody Song Artist: Nickelback
This time I wonder what it feels like, To find the one in this life, The one we all dream of, But dreams just aren't enough.++
So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling The moment when we're meeting Will play out out like a scene Straight off the silver screen++
So I'll be holding my own breathe Right up 'til the end Until that moment when I find the one That I'll spend forever with
CHORUS: 'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there 'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares Someone to love with my life in their hands There's gotta be somebody for me like that
'Cause nobody wants to do it on their own And everyone wants to know they're not alone There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere There's gotta be somebody for me out there.
Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight And damn it this feels too right It's just like deja vu Me standing here with you++
So I'll be holding my own breathe, Could this be the end? Is it that moment when I find the one That I'll spend forever with....
CHORUS
You can't give up, (When you're) Looking for a diamond in the rough (He told me) You never know when it shows up Make sure you're holding on 'Cause it could be the one, The one you're waiting on
'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there And everyone wants to feel like someone cares Someone to love with my life in their hands There's gotta be somebody for me,
Ohhhh, nobody wants to do it on their own And everyone wants to know they're not alone There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere There's gotta be somebody for me out there.
Nobody wants to be the last one there (What are you looking for) Everyone wants to feel like someone cares (Because your never know) There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere (Make sure you're holding on) There's gotta be somebody for me out there.
After hurting my right arm to the extent of inability to touch my nose with my right arm last week, I've recovered enough to attempt pushups again! Trying to make up for lost time, I skipped a proper Day 2 routine to the Day 3 routine.
Day One (Mon 18/05/09) - appeared smooth with a 20-12-7-7-10. Hurt my arm in the process. Day Two (Wed 20/05/09) - massive failure! I only managed two sets before collapsing. 5-10-0-0-0.
Skipped all pushup training for the rest of the week due to my right arm injury. Did some situps [40(Tues), 20-20-20(Wed), 25-20-15(Thurs)] though.
Day Three (Tue 26/05/09) - was okay (15-15-10-8-9) other than an acute pain on my left shoulder joint this time.
After collapsing onto the floor, I got up and went for my twice weekly jog. Wanting to up my pace, I started off quite fast. Felt some stitch problem arising and slowed down my pace considerably to curb it from overcoming me with pain.
Ended up really really struggling to finish the route without breaking into a walk. I've always hated the idea of walking during a jog and have always believed that no matter how slow i jog, i will never break into a walk.
"IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU MIGHT FEEL YOU'RE REALLY SLOW... YOU'RE ALREADY A WINNER COZ YOU TRYYYYYY!!!! ARRRGGGHHHH... C'MONNN !!!"
That crazy, insane mental(pun not intended) encouragement above kept me going.. and i completed the jog without walking. =)
*Update: SamY showed me this clip of Will Smith's inspired speech about not giving up and defeating that lil man's voice. I think Will Smith is great!
I know it's a lil bit cliche to preach about the joy of giving and sharing.. but i felt it today when I was hving a really terrible monday blue. I went to FarEastFlora.com & bought some flowers online. Knowing that it'd brighten up the day for the ppl i intend to buy for, I felt a joy in me too..
Hmmm.... Seeing that chirpy, happy smile is in itself a wonderful gift in return..
This is a tragedy to us.. A new low.. Banished to soccer neverland.. Few hours ago, this became a fact but it's only now that it's really set in.. The engulfing doom and gloom is suffocating..
It's like a sad dream that you can never wake up from.. It feels like you've bet your fortune and lost.. Then wished u hadn't bet a cent..
Training routine bombed! Seems like I over did myself on the first day n hurt my arm muscles bad.. They're now hurting from the lifting of my iPhone from my makeshift bed at ah ma place to the table in front of me. Ouch!
Tried to continue on my Mon-Wed-Fri cycle ytd after getting home from work but the pain on the arm was hurting so much i only did 5 in my first set followed by a 10 in my second set after a long rest.
Determined not to just take opportunity to skip training, I proceeded to do three sets of 20 situps..
+ her to be happy
+ inner bliss
+ to unite with you again.
+ be able to bring joy to ppl i love.. again..
+ graduate with a DI average grade. (difficult..)
+ nv to meet BenPar ever again after graduation.
+ get a decent job.
+ good gradesHD & DI pls..
+ More External HDDs( not enuff again.. =( )
+ Newcastle to do well
- Call me bean
- First naked on 11/11/1982
- Bleeds
black & white
- Has dad & sista, michelle. No more mum but an auntie. =p
- Has an IQ of 152
- Can you afford me? I'm worth exactly: $1,448,020
- Am lazy. (applies to even eating!)
- Don't expect me to read Chinese
- Sees the glass half full
- Loyal & faithful
- Loves to shop
- photograFREAK
- Loves potatoes (meshed, whipped, fried, etc)
- Picky with greenies..
- Studied EI in NYP
- Enlisted to Gryphon Coy (BMTC)
- Signal Trained in S.I.
- Posted to 1st Guards
- Served my NS as Bn S2 Signaller
- ORDed on X'mas eve'05
- interested in multimedia.
- a recent deviant
- studying BA(AIM) in RMIT. Melbourne. Aussie.
-
Part Timeworking adult,
Full Time slacker.
- SAFpays me no more.. =(
- Singing lifts my spirits tremendously
Firstly, I'll like to state first and foremost that I'm not a catholic nor christian. I won't forcibly preach any religion to you. That said, I've an open mind. And I'm a believer of faith..
Sometimes i really feel we can learn from the bible..
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." ~ Marilyn Monroe
Just read this news article on the Sunday times by Sumiko Tan titled, 'Entering a new r'ship when you're older & hopefully wiser".. Felt it's really insightful..
Here's a small excerpt: "When you've been single for a while, you view starting a new r'ship with a huge dose of trepidation.You''ve been thru it all & you're tired.
You know too well how it often starts nicely but ends horribly. You know how hard it is for 2 ppl to compromise, which is what r'ships r all abt and u know it's even harder when u're older, set in ur own ways, live in different continents & hv been scarred by r'ships past."
"If there is suffering, then it’s best to accept it, because it won’t go away just because you pretend it’s not there. If there is joy, then it’s best to accept that too, even though you’re afraid it might end one day."
- Paulo Coelho
I met you for the first time bringing some bbq chicken to you. The first thing in my mind was that you're really luck that you've got an owner who truly pampers you la.. i don't see this kinda pampering on a pet often la.. Buying 2 BBQ chicken wings and sharing with you 50-50 !! haha.. generous indeed.. I was very foolishly bemused as i watch you eat the chicken wings.. crunching your way thru.. and then before i noticed it, not even the bones are left ! i was kinda amazed !! On hind sight, it was kinda silly.. i mean of course dogs eat the bones.. Today u left us.. hopefully for a better place to rest.. Despite having been bitten on the finger by you while trying to pat pat you and been with you for only a day, i feel saddened that i will not ever get to pat pat you again..i can totally imagine the sadness in your owner.. a person whose had u for 9 years.. i truly believe that you'll live on in the memories of those who loved u lots.. just like how your owner has stayed in mine.. =)
Had my first tennis coaching tonight.. learnt lots from coach Lawrence. After the lesson, really felt that it's worthwhile to get some form of proper coaching. Fundamental things that need to be correct right from the start.. had this thought in my head as i was waiting for bus to go home..
"If we let any of money, laze or fear of failure/embarrassment dictate our decisions in life too much, we'll be nothing but a hamster running on a wheel.."
I was on the way to Bugis to meet some friends for dinner and hangout. It was raining and I walked into the shelter of the bus stop in front of my office building. I looked up at the electronic board for the number of the bus I want to board to check out the estimated arrival timing.
26 mins !! My god ! So long ?! I turned to my iPhone for amusement to kill some time as I waited. Checked out some facebook notifications. Went on the iPhone app iM+ to find someone to chat. J was online.
me: hi.. eaten dinner?
J: yupz. u?
me: going to.. but am waiting for a freaking long bus. me: sibei sian..
J: then take a short bus la.
me: lol me: 26 mins u noe? so long la !
... some chit chat banter later ...
me: hey! my bus is here.. me: The board still says 8 mins more. Luckily, I looked out for it.
J: ohh.. bus service very efficient!
me: hmmmm... errr... me: I'm not sure about Melbourne but in SG, NOTHING is too efficient for ppl. me: Over here, ppl will just say that the electronic board is slow in updating or bad in estimating. me: Then they will conjure up some possible "valid" reasoning to back them up like the mis-estimation cause them to miss the bus, thus missing some IMPORTANT apptments etc..
The pace of life in Singapore is already quite hectic as it is. You can tell from the pace of people walking to the amount of road rage witnessed. It's become a norm for them to be walking so fast. The pace with which a person speaks also increases and this, in part, is how the basis of some Singlish slangs originates. The quick, short & efficient bursts of words to complete the sentenses meant to be conveyed.
The youtube link above is Steve Jobs' Commencement Address at Stanford University in 2005.
I personally find his speech very meaningful and truly inspiring.. Hmmm.. I would really love to meet some wise old man like Steve Jobs, Morrie Schwartz or Paulo Coelho someday.. or perhaps, if I may be fortunate enough, to find one in the mirror some day.. =)
In summary, his whole speech touched us with a couple of stories:
In life, we can only "connect the dots BACKWARDS" never forward. I think it's so true that in life, the dots just connect up.. The dots may be high or low but eventually the low points played just as big a part (to the high points) to form the image at the end.
When we're at a low point, we may lose confidence to follow the heart.
I think he's trying to tell us to be confident in doing what your heart want us to do. Someday sometime, the dots will connect.
Love & Loss Jobs talked about his founding of Macintosh, being sacked, starting over & returning again stronger & better. He urges us to identify what we love, keep looking & don't settle easily, and we'll do great work because great work comes from doing what we love.
The Face of Death "If you live each day as if it were your last, someday you would be most definitely be right.."
Jobs suggests that we could ask yourself everyday if you love what you are going to do today. If you find yourself answering 'no' a few times, it's time to do something abt it.
Jobs talked about his discovery of a tumour in his pancreas which opens his eyes to the truth that "all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure fall away in the face of death. Leaving ONLY what is truly important."
He :
Urges us not to fall into the trap of thinking you have something to lose.
Reminds us that our time is limited (as does everyone before us).
Advices us not to waste our times living out somebody else's life.
Don't be trap by dogma (which is living with the results of other people's thinking).
Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out our own inner voice.
Most importantly, to have the courage to follow our heart and intuition. They somehow already know what we truly want to become.
I've been reading quite a bit of novels by Paulo Coelho & Mitch Albom that encourages me to think and see more into my own life and things happening around. A tad philosophical perhaps but I've always loved to ponder (sometimes pointlessly) on abt life and being curious with why things turn out the way they do..
I'd just like to share my feelings about a novel, The Zahir by Paulo Coelho that enlightened me a great deal and taught me to manage my feelings properly. The title of this book did not attract me one bit! Perhaps it just wasn't an attractive word by itself without knowing the meaning of it.
This book was so helpful to me and it made so much sense in a difficult time of complications within me that I actually read a couple of pages (not literally just two pages lah!) and then I would stop reading. I want it to last longer. I didn't wanna blaze thru it feeling top of the world and then dropping back down to earth the minute i finished it.
In a way, I reckon it's like everything u learn. If you don't practice it, you just don't improve nor understand it fully. So I would read a couple of pages, sleep on it for a while trying to absorb it further. Then try applying analogies I'd interpreted onto myself and ponder on further.
I'm very fond of seeking inspirations from aphorisms. Here's some i picked up from my recent readings which i realli like..
The Zahir - Paulo Coelho:
"Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused."
"There is nothing worse than the feeling that no one cares whether we exist or not, that no one is interested in what we have to say about life, and that the world can continue turning without our awkward presence."
"Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose - and commit myself to - what is best for me."
"A fatally wounded soldier never asks the medical team: “Please save me!” His last words are usually: “Tell my wife and son that I love them.” At the last moment, they speak of love."
"(There's) a time to rend and a time to sew.."
"If there is suffering, then it’s best to accept it, because it won’t go away just because you pretend it’s not there. If there is joy, then it’s best to accept that too, even though you’re afraid it might end one day.
Some people can only relate to life through sacrifice and renunciation. Some people can only feel part of humanity when they think they are ‘happy’."
"All you have to do is to pay attention; lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step "
"What man of you, having an hundred sheep if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it ??? "
"The Zahir is someone or something which, once we have come into contact with them or it, gradually occupies every thought."
For One More Day - Mitch Albom:
"An echo is the persistance of sound waves after its source has stopped.."
"An echo can only exist with the presence of a surface for the sound waves to bounce off of.."
"An echo is heard where the surroundings are quiet.."
Many women in Singapore are lovely and lustrously groomed.
The most stylish ones are beautifully shod. Glossy hair, manicures that appear perpetually day-old and spa-fresh skin - I know I'd love to look more like them.
The only thing missing? A smile or expression.
Quite often there is a hard look instead, which easily sabotages all the expensive effort to look great.
But I like to think we have an inner light that's meant to show on our faces. Signs of life and vitality truly transform a girl from good-looker to radiant stunner who captivates eye, imagination and soul.
I know big cities like Singapore can be impersonal so our defensive masks go up.
There is a lot of rush and stress and competition. All that will show in our clenched faces and bodies.
And, of course, we cannot pretend there are no stormy seasons in life or days when we can barely breathe.
But what if our default expression is a vacant gaze? And if our eyes always betray loss of rest, disdain or worse?
I hope our hard-driving lifestyle will not wipe out real smiles and sparkling spirits in the city.
Having said that, I know a smile can easily hide as much as it reveals.
Paradoxically, I discovered this to be so true in Thailand, the land of smiles.
When I lived in Bangkok, I delighted in the smiles of the Thais and their enjoyment of life.
But I quickly learnt that the Thais have a smile for every emotion. There is a sad smile. People even put on a happy face when they are hurt, insulted or try to defuse conflicts.
Once, a rushing cab nearly knocked a motorcyclist off his bike in the tiny, gritty, busy soi outside my apartment. The angry biker's eyes flashed and I thought he'd go berserk.
But the errant cabbie grinned and bowed, and the biker grinned and bowed right back. In seconds, all was forgiven.
With so many nuances of the smile, the Thai smile often hides more than it reveals, anthropologist Niels Mulder said in his classic, Inside Thai Society.
That was true of my part-time cleaner, Praparn. The single mother whose husband had abandoned the family always wore a sweet smile.
But her eyes were wistful. I also wondered if she was mildly traumatised, just looking at the way she arranged my bottles of skincare and stuff in obsessively straight lines.
For a while, I also wished she'd mop the floor more.
My Thai was unsophisticated and so whatever I tried to convey to her, my floor remained a little dusty and straight lines stayed in my bathroom.
One day, I drove back to the apartment with my bright young Thai assistant who interpreted as I told Praparn about the floor.
Me, I'm non-confrontational, so I was starting to be light-hearted as Praparn was smiling and responding softly.
But my colleague slipped in a comment: 'She's getting defensive.'
Astonished, I asked: 'But how do you know? She's smiling.'
Replied my colleague: 'She's starting to interrupt me.'
At once we softened the exchange. I assured Praparn that I appreciated her work, and only wanted both parties to be happier and clearer by stating some expectations. I asked for her thoughts too.
So a smile is not always a smile.
So maybe when Singapore women do not smile, it may not mean anything much.
Yet I say it's not flattering to pair a cold look with a gorgeous face.
And also I remember being struck when a fashion designer declared on TV that his runway models looked very different.
'They look like they are thinking,'' he said.
Sure enough, runway scenes of his models showed that their beautiful faces were reflective and alive. They had personality. Each young woman possessed an innate glow that still moves me, years later.
That vitality was their best feature. It did exceedingly more for the models - and the entranced audience - than their perfect make-up and uber-stylish clothes.
They make me wonder how we can glow more too.
Then I remember the people I know whose smiles and expressions have changed over the years. A couple or so have a hard-edged look, but a great many look cooler and more liberated now.
They're ageing in reverse, I tell them.
I'm guessing they have the confidence of experience, and are much alive to possibilities too.
I really share the view of the author of this article.. Why don't people smile more, take a step back more, chill and relax.. My initial thought is that women in Singapore wanna look/act more sophisticated. They've probably grown past of the silly giggly school girl mentality.
Why are so many of us so impatient? I often see my driver friend getting all worked out while driving.. Would I have reacted in the same way too if I drive as frequently as him?
Personally i like to smile. I agree with the bit in the article about a sad smile and a joyous ecstatic smile.. and that smiles do solve problems in life sometimes.. as in the case of the sorry thai motorist..
Dreams.. :( what kinda dreams do you prefer? The good ones that you wake up feeling shortchanged or the scary ones you wake up feeling relieved but frightened at the remote possibility?
For me, the good kind really sucks.. I just had a wonderful sweet dream.. But having woken up,.. I'm in this shit all over again.. I feel so played.. Arrggghhhh.....
ikea are having this clearance sale this weekend. I mass emailed my aunts/uncles in hope that one of them wanna go take a look there. I wanna pick up another $19 rug after my satisfaction with the last one i got.. Had also hoped to pick up some cheap bargains.. and getting a ride to and fro is most convenient, especially when i dun wanna lug home some heavy, bulky rugs n stuff..
had lunch there.. swedish meat balls.. Being caught by the cold air conditioning at ikea suddenly as i entered the building, the chill on my arms reminded me of a past shopping experience there..
I was weak n just about recovered from my fever bout(actually maybe i hadn't fully recovered yet).. but i wanted very much to accompany my... friend. so i went ahead.. it was very cold that day too.. and i broke into cold sweat.. feeling cold n uncomfortable.. i've never felt this much discomfort n outta place before when sick. usually when i'm sick, i'd be at home.. thus, that was a very unique experience..
hmmmm.. it wasn't a very pleasant memory but yet i'd wanna be in that position right now..
sometimes i hv some thoughts that i tot i might wanna blog. i put it off to later, and yes you're rite, they're gone/forgotten/forsaken.
I've some photos which i wanted to post on fb n the blog too.. but then i just keep putting them off. maybe i feel there is just no point..
i haven't been keeping to my one blogpost per week for my other blog. sometimes i hv a tot i dun blog immediately due to some inconvenience or some troublesome stuff i end up forgetting abt it all..
ah well, maybe i'm just too busy with life to be bothered with the online persona..
After a week of army In-Camp Training(ICT), I'm glad to say that I've thoroughly enjoyed the company of my platoon mates so much so that the hardship is really quite nothing.
It's kinda like a holiday getaway for 5 day 6 nights with my mates.. Of course none of us like the waiting, the heat, the sweat, the smelly bits, the chow keng ppl, the hectic schedule but i'm sure hving the company of close pals realli made it so much easier to go thru..
J asked me if i missed the internet. I've gotta say I'd never have seen this coming from me a year ago. But I'm proud to say I didn't miss the internet at all.
Maybe I've seen thru it.. Cured myself of the addiction to it. I loved the conveniences the internet brings but I reckon I'm no longer an addict.
The internet is like an enormous volume of information. The human individual is, by nature, curious for more knowledge.
You have a demand and a supply. Deal !
Addiction occurs.
To cure the addiction, you have to learn to let go.
Information is boundless. Internet have stretched the accessibility of it for common ppl like me and you to be boundless too and we can't handle boundless information. Thus, we have to learn to let it go sometimes..
i woke up. sunday morning.. fatigue-ridden body from the previous day's soccer.. aching arms & legs.. opened my eyes and see a beautiful image. right there. in front of my eyes. on my wall..
I tot I'll share it here.. =) A subtle msg from mother nature? a flight to freedom? or bill gates' attempt to convert the mac-loving me towards windows?
My sis and i went shopping ard MS(coincidentally also shares the same initials as me & her) and saw this poster outside this shop. From the side of my glance, I thought it was an interestingly insane and wacky ad poster of a girl. Upon taking a second look, I realised the wobbly leg effect was purely accidental..
This is the X-Ray of my entire teeth set i did a couple or so weeks ago.. It's actually reversed. That is, what you see on the left of the picture is on my right side of my face.
According to the dentist, there has been no visible signs of any wisdom tooth growth as yet in my mouth. However after the X-ray, we discovered a wisdom tooth growing out on the left side of my upper set of teeth.
I'm still kinda amused that I will only have one wisdom tooth in my life time.. Why is that?! So bizarre... Most ppl have 4!!! hmmmm... Am I underdeveloped? or just slow? LOL..
I've since scheduled a tooth extraction date for the decaying teeth in the upper set of teeth. (Don't wanna cause complications for my precious one and only outgrowing wisdom tooth). Let's hope it goes well. =)
This is my running route! Estimatedly measured (using the legend provided by google maps) to be about 2.4km - 2.5km long.. Perfecto! The red 'X' marks my place.. I usually stop a distance from my place then cool down and catch back my breathe with a stroll home..
Instead of wasting time thinking up points to blame others when in a bad situation, sometimes focusing on positives can bring about a new experience that can be surprisingly enriching to oneself.
As the old adage goes, “When one door closes, another opens". We often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
While people complain about taking public transport to work, I'm glad to be able to take the positives from my traveling experience. Public transport has been the perfect time for me to read a book/novel.. Having a conveniently accessible work location on Orchard Road like mine helped lots. A mere 15 mins bus ride plus 15 mins train ride to and fro makes good reading time!
If you'd spend some time and reflect upon the recent happenings in your life, sometimes you'll be surprised how close minded you become when you get 'forced' to do things.
It's come to me that positives are often hidden away in a negatively perceived situation. Take for instance, me having to sleep over at granny's place during the weekdays was initially thought upon as a chore even though i certainly don't mind spending more time with her. Why?! For the simple fact that I had felt that the situation had presented itself in a manner which left me without a choice.
Immediately my mind was closed once I sensed the lack of a choice. Excuses such as no internet there. No air conditioning. Troublesome to bring over clothes for sleeping over. No privacy etc etc.
However, after a couple of months of staying over, I've reflected and felt that it has definitely turned out to be a positive experience for me.
I found time.
Time to reflect. Time to read. Time to rest and relax. Time to do some exercise. and also, time to watch my TV shows on my laptop instead of dl-ing within a couple of hours but struggling to find time to watch them. Normally I would wake up at 7am at home n struggle to get to work on time! coz i'm quite the internet addict. time away from the internet is good..
Nowadays i wake up slack a bit on the mattress. Stoned for what seemed like ages. And still i have more spare time than when I'm home. Then I could sit back and slowly eat my breakfast, enjoy the freshly brewed coffee by Ah Ma and have some chit-chat with her. Visit the 'throne'. then get dressed for work. Somehow, amazingly, time was sssstretcheddd.....
In the stressful, fast-paced working life of Singapore, many simple pleasures and joys often got lost in the whirlwind. People rush to work, work the whole day and then rush back home to slp. then continue that repetitive cycle. It's zombifying.. In life, we need small goals and targets to keep oneself mentally balanced and to feel encouraged.
This fitness routine I've started is both a small goal and challenge I've gave myself. It's like there's this tiny lil' man in my head that says I can't last this fitness routine for long and it just makes me more determined to prove him wrong! I'd know that as long as I keep up, I'll gain that little bit of satisfaction from accomplishing the small goals and making that lil' man in the head eat my shorts !! =)
Really, really cooing to this song at the moment..! Absolutely love it! Gives you the lift u need to counter the effects of a boring day at work. The lyrics of course are also well written.. =)
Song Title: Gotta Be Somebody Song Artist: Nickelback
This time I wonder what it feels like, To find the one in this life, The one we all dream of, But dreams just aren't enough.++
So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling The moment when we're meeting Will play out out like a scene Straight off the silver screen++
So I'll be holding my own breathe Right up 'til the end Until that moment when I find the one That I'll spend forever with
CHORUS: 'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there 'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares Someone to love with my life in their hands There's gotta be somebody for me like that
'Cause nobody wants to do it on their own And everyone wants to know they're not alone There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere There's gotta be somebody for me out there.
Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight And damn it this feels too right It's just like deja vu Me standing here with you++
So I'll be holding my own breathe, Could this be the end? Is it that moment when I find the one That I'll spend forever with....
CHORUS
You can't give up, (When you're) Looking for a diamond in the rough (He told me) You never know when it shows up Make sure you're holding on 'Cause it could be the one, The one you're waiting on
'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there And everyone wants to feel like someone cares Someone to love with my life in their hands There's gotta be somebody for me,
Ohhhh, nobody wants to do it on their own And everyone wants to know they're not alone There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere There's gotta be somebody for me out there.
Nobody wants to be the last one there (What are you looking for) Everyone wants to feel like someone cares (Because your never know) There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere (Make sure you're holding on) There's gotta be somebody for me out there.
After hurting my right arm to the extent of inability to touch my nose with my right arm last week, I've recovered enough to attempt pushups again! Trying to make up for lost time, I skipped a proper Day 2 routine to the Day 3 routine.
Day One (Mon 18/05/09) - appeared smooth with a 20-12-7-7-10. Hurt my arm in the process. Day Two (Wed 20/05/09) - massive failure! I only managed two sets before collapsing. 5-10-0-0-0.
Skipped all pushup training for the rest of the week due to my right arm injury. Did some situps [40(Tues), 20-20-20(Wed), 25-20-15(Thurs)] though.
Day Three (Tue 26/05/09) - was okay (15-15-10-8-9) other than an acute pain on my left shoulder joint this time.
After collapsing onto the floor, I got up and went for my twice weekly jog. Wanting to up my pace, I started off quite fast. Felt some stitch problem arising and slowed down my pace considerably to curb it from overcoming me with pain.
Ended up really really struggling to finish the route without breaking into a walk. I've always hated the idea of walking during a jog and have always believed that no matter how slow i jog, i will never break into a walk.
"IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU MIGHT FEEL YOU'RE REALLY SLOW... YOU'RE ALREADY A WINNER COZ YOU TRYYYYYY!!!! ARRRGGGHHHH... C'MONNN !!!"
That crazy, insane mental(pun not intended) encouragement above kept me going.. and i completed the jog without walking. =)
*Update: SamY showed me this clip of Will Smith's inspired speech about not giving up and defeating that lil man's voice. I think Will Smith is great!
I know it's a lil bit cliche to preach about the joy of giving and sharing.. but i felt it today when I was hving a really terrible monday blue. I went to FarEastFlora.com & bought some flowers online. Knowing that it'd brighten up the day for the ppl i intend to buy for, I felt a joy in me too..
Hmmm.... Seeing that chirpy, happy smile is in itself a wonderful gift in return..
This is a tragedy to us.. A new low.. Banished to soccer neverland.. Few hours ago, this became a fact but it's only now that it's really set in.. The engulfing doom and gloom is suffocating..
It's like a sad dream that you can never wake up from.. It feels like you've bet your fortune and lost.. Then wished u hadn't bet a cent..
Training routine bombed! Seems like I over did myself on the first day n hurt my arm muscles bad.. They're now hurting from the lifting of my iPhone from my makeshift bed at ah ma place to the table in front of me. Ouch!
Tried to continue on my Mon-Wed-Fri cycle ytd after getting home from work but the pain on the arm was hurting so much i only did 5 in my first set followed by a 10 in my second set after a long rest.
Determined not to just take opportunity to skip training, I proceeded to do three sets of 20 situps..
I met you for the first time bringing some bbq chicken to you. The first thing in my mind was that you're really luck that you've got an owner who truly pampers you la.. i don't see this kinda pampering on a pet often la.. Buying 2 BBQ chicken wings and sharing with you 50-50 !! haha.. generous indeed..
I was very foolishly bemused as i watch you eat the chicken wings.. crunching your way thru.. and then before i noticed it, not even the bones are left ! i was kinda amazed !! On hind sight, it was kinda silly.. i mean of course dogs eat the bones..
Today u left us.. hopefully for a better place to rest.. Despite having been bitten on the finger by you while trying to pat pat you and been with you for only a day, i feel saddened that i will not ever get to pat pat you again..i can totally imagine the sadness in your owner.. a person whose had u for 9 years.. i truly believe that you'll live on in the memories of those who loved u lots.. just like how your owner has stayed in mine.. =)
