Once in a while when all hopes are down, we get a little reminder in life that each & everyone of us should never give up in pursuing your dream.. Thank you Susan Boyle for warming our hearts with a little happy ending we all loved and longed to see..
argh.. they disabled embedding.. here's the link.. go watch.. u wont be disappointed..
I Dreamed A Dream
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high,
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
Then I was young and unafraid
When dreams were made and used,
And wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung,
No wine untasted.
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hopes apart
As they turn your dream to shame.
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came
And still I dream he'll come to me
And we will live our lives together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms
We cannot weather...
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seems
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed.
hmmmm.... i dreamed a dream too..Labels: feelings, Life, songs
Bean blubbered at [12:03]
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Went to work today.. Lethargy and a certain gloom engulfed my day.. Felt kinda awkward seeing my colleagues again while seeing them trying to find topics other than from asking me about my long and impromptu one-week leave. Time flew after i set abt rearranging the indd file of Banyan Tree Cheque Book..Got home and had dinner as usual at Ah ma's place. Again it felt very foreign there. Ah gong, we all missed ur presence.. Though you were always quiet and passive, you still meant a lot to us.. Haii... Ah ma prolly misses cooking for you, chiding you for your blur mistakes, your company when going marketing, having meals with you, watching tv and your meticulous preparation of cut fruits for her as she watched tv in the evenings..
Had a chat with Michelle.. She said that Ah ma dreamt of ah gong last night..
They were at the airport..
Ah gong was wearing the clothes they cremated him in..
He was smoking a pack of cigarettes they had bought in china..
Ah ma told Michelle she chided him for being selfish/thoughtless..
Only know how to enjoy smoking himself but didn't buy back(from China) some cigarettes(for her/their friends??)..
Hmmm.. Michelle commented that ah ma smoked a lot today.. like smoked the entire cigarette pack in a day plus some 'ang hoon'.. sigh.. hope it doesn't affect her health.. I couldn't bring myself to tell her not to smoke so much either coz it seems to me that she's trying to savor the memories ah gong gave her in her dreams..Labels: Experience, Family, feelings, Life, Pain
Bean blubbered at [23:36]
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Labels: Experience, Family, feelings, Life, Pain
Bean blubbered at [23:16]
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Wednesday, April 08, 2009
A ShinMin Daily reporter came and interviewed Ah Ma & Uncle Cheng PeowLabels: Experience, Family, feelings, Life, Pain
Bean blubbered at [23:14]
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Uncle Cheng Hoo, Uncle Cheng Peow, Auntie Elsie and Ah Ma brought Ah Gong's urn back from China on Monday night. Red tape and likely potential delays have prompted Ah Ma's decision to cremate Ah Gong in China.
Being the first night, and also after arriving in Singapore so late, there was not a big crowd awaiting Ah Gong's arrival. Most people who came were the direct relatives. The night was spent rejoicing past memories of when we were young while folding the joss papers. It was good reliving and sharing..
I had stayed overnight making sure the joss stick never cease to burn, replacing joss stick or reminding one of my uncles to do it. Ah Ma was the first from the people who went home to take a rest to come down.. She wanted to prepare for Ah Gong's wash up and also his breakfast.
'Yi Po'(Ah Ma's sis) came to visit in the morning and she cried ceaselessly, constantly mumbling while crying about this unfortunate happening. Ah Ma cried many times and seemed wobbly and weak.. We tried our best to comfort them though it was really difficult as they made me tear uncontrollably too..
Before Ah Gong came back, I tried consoling myself that he had left for a better place and did so in a manner which was pretty much a blessed painless and non-suffering. I had tried telling myself that I shouldn't selfishly cry and wish him to come back to me. He's in a better place now. I curbed the tears that far..
Visitors from neighbours to ex-colleagues to distant relatives from Malaysia would offer incense and pay their last respect to Ah Gong. It was very sad watching some of them with that 'I-can't-believe-it' face. He's so fit and he hasn't had any health problems previously..
I teared uncontrollably when an old man who knew Ah Gong for 50 years said that Ah Gong was such a dedicated and good man. A man who never refuse responsibility, always willing to help out those who seek help, and never once blew his temper. He's a forgiving and generous person who is never petty. I teared not because I was selfish and wanted him back. I teared coz i am genuinely touched and sadden that such a great person has left us.
He's the nice ah gong that got caned sometimes when i ran behind him to hide from ah ms's canings, the 'longan cocktail drink' man who brightens up the faces of my young cousins, the mentor who always advice me to be patient and not rush things, the respected figure in the house, the forgiving adult that would go coax a young child that has just gotten a scolding or a caning,..... ='(Labels: Family, feelings, Life, Pain
Bean blubbered at [18:12]
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Thank you ah gong for everything you've taught me about life.
I love you. I respect you so much. From an ice-cream uncle selling ice-creams at 5 cents to 10 cents each to a law-abiding, trustworthy and helpful taxi driver, you managed to bring up 4 kids successful in every way. Seeing the way your kids(my uncles n aunts) are brought up to be so filial and so united as a family is a tribute to the upbringing and character you've instilled in your children.
I am truly honoured to have your attendance on my graduation day in Melbourne. It was great having your company. we could chat. Your knowledge of life belittles the fact that you did not get a proper education. It was always good to have a nice chat with you.
I'm glad that I managed to spend some time with you after I got back from Melb. I would have hated myself had I put off staying and accompanying you watch news coz I was tired from work.
As in my sms to all my uncles and aunts,
"In this difficult time, let us be strong.. We've lost a loved one.. One whom we respect utmostly.. But I hope all of us can be strong.. For ah gong has truly lived a blessed life and left without suffering pain.. We'll all miss him lots but we hv to be strong to be able to take care of ah ma.."
At this point of time, I'll have to take comfort that you left without suffering (much) pain.
Now the final thing left to do is to cut all the frustrating red tape in transporting ah gong's body back from China and get the rituals done. I realli feel for ah ma.. Imagine me feeling so lost back here while ah ma is in the hospital in a foreign place like China without any friends and family to seek comfort from.. It's totally unbearable.. I am realli worried about ah ma now..
='(Labels: Family, feelings, love, Pain
Bean blubbered at [23:31]
ah gong..
i pray for you..
=(
u will recover.
we will watch news together again.
i'm totally lost..
haiiiiii...Labels: Family, feelings, Pain
Bean blubbered at [17:11]
i dreamt.
it was a sweet dream.
it felt real.
the warmth, the happiness and the feeling..
it's what i've always wanted for a while.
i finally got it.
i enjoyed it.
and then i woke up.. =(Labels: Dream
Bean blubbered at [08:40]
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