Tuesday, May 31, 2005

hmmm.. juz as life in army is coming to a close, lotsa problems are surfacing.. lotsa worries.. (juz another 107 days to ORD. not counting my leave to clear yet..) Of course, there is also the emotional part. Leaving all my pals etc.. i think i need to grow more emotionally independant.

i've been reading lotsa university pregraduate brochures and some magazine about studying overseas, making decisions on how to choose etc in camp. Studying overseas will definitely give me the solitude i need to grow emotionally. it's a push factor for my decision to study there.

Another thing is i would realli like to experience living over there.. i recall when i was in poly, i gave the thought of immigrating to another country a thought. i'd like to live in a different culture different environment. i wanna make more new friends of diverse backgrounds. but i dun like to lose old friends as i try to make new ones.. inevitably i think this is the case. one simply dun hv the time to maintain so many of them.. haiz.. i'm not someone who consider ppl i noe as frens.. as frens, a level of understanding is needed.. not juz anyone who happens to be in the same company in camp as me..

worries worries worries.. they're wearing me out. need to find out abt overseas accomodation, which overseas uni to apply for, which course to undertake.. etc.. worry abt it financially.. worry abt life there alone emotionally.. worry abt not passing my class 3 in the first attempt(2 june is my Basic Theory Test), worry abt hving no laptop there, no digicamera there etc.. haiz.. i'm a person who like to complain to ppl i feel close to.. by complaining abt them, i feel more relieved. i dun need explanations. it'll juz feel betta. pardon me if i 'fan' you. it could juz be my annoying way of releasing stress..
Blabbered bean @ 19:06 //