hmmm.. juz as life in army is coming to a close, lotsa problems are surfacing.. lotsa worries.. (juz another 107 days to ORD. not counting my leave to clear yet..) Of course, there is also the emotional part. Leaving all my pals etc.. i think i need to grow more emotionally independant.
i've been reading lotsa university pregraduate brochures and some magazine about studying overseas, making decisions on how to choose etc in camp. Studying overseas will definitely give me the solitude i need to grow emotionally. it's a push factor for my decision to study there.
Another thing is i would realli like to experience living over there.. i recall when i was in poly, i gave the thought of immigrating to another country a thought. i'd like to live in a different culture different environment. i wanna make more new friends of diverse backgrounds. but i dun like to lose old friends as i try to make new ones.. inevitably i think this is the case. one simply dun hv the time to maintain so many of them.. haiz.. i'm not someone who consider ppl i noe as frens.. as frens, a level of understanding is needed.. not juz anyone who happens to be in the same company in camp as me..
worries worries worries.. they're wearing me out. need to find out abt overseas accomodation, which overseas uni to apply for, which course to undertake.. etc.. worry abt it financially.. worry abt life there alone emotionally.. worry abt not passing my class 3 in the first attempt(2 june is my Basic Theory Test), worry abt hving no laptop there, no digicamera there etc.. haiz.. i'm a person who like to complain to ppl i feel close to.. by complaining abt them, i feel more relieved. i dun need explanations. it'll juz feel betta. pardon me if i 'fan' you. it could juz be my annoying way of releasing stress..
Bean blubbered at [19:06]
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A new start on 290505. had thai food for dinner. tom yam soup w seafood, green curry w chicken, tauhu w egg. i actually ate seafood. the squid & prawn & crab.. watched madagascar. a very animated & cute cartoon show. a veri cute & adorable character & personality. hmmm....
A new route home found too.. Bus 67 then 25 or 24. a new string. a new worry. a new liking. a new confusion. a new longing. a new distraction. a new wish. a new feeling.. damn.. i'm going bonkers..
Bean blubbered at [02:20]
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SP coy in sernang di ri position..
Bean blubbered at [16:15]
march pass by alpha coy..
Bean blubbered at [16:15]
The audience.. we all loh.. those that haven ord one loh
Bean blubbered at [16:14]
Homat kenan ho...... mat... check up..
Bean blubbered at [16:13]
arms swing 90 degrees forward and 45 degrees backward..
Bean blubbered at [16:12]
ORD Parade on friday.. no,... not mine.. the sergeants are ord-ing loh.. by june they won't be around le.. even now they are clearing leave.. maybe we do long for our turn.. if time would stop, i'll rather live this life.. coz now realli slack.. eat sleep eat sleep soccer eat sleep.. haha
Bean blubbered at [16:12]
oh? why did the other girl bend over?? hmmm... fishy.. hanky panky?
Bean blubbered at [16:10]
closeup?
Bean blubbered at [16:09]
Potato at Suntec that night.. the night we went to esplanade.. remember? enroute, we happen to catch this monk who is so capable.. wooing 2 girls sia.. while the 3 of us so lonely.. haahaa..
Bean blubbered at [16:09]
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haiz. super no mood actually. hmmm.. but i noe i'll feel better after blogging it down.. haha.. friday afternoon took half day off and left camp early.. went to hui & quah to find out more abt studying in aussie. actually did managed to find out some important stuff but the whole ordeal took 6 hours and felt realli mentally strenuous! me & tim went old airport road and treated ourselves to some nice food while we chat about overseas studying somemore and i learnt a bit more about investment. i pondered about it. i dun wanna commit but it's worth a thought..
reached home mentally tired out. no strength to do anything. this uni thing is giving me a lot of unwarranted stress.. nobody seems to care.. are they just waiting for me to plan all by myself? dad wouldn't noe much.. i din ask him. aunts n uncles no sound from them either.. hmmm.. after so many trips to exhibitions etc, now i noe i want multimedia instead of mass communications. i'm pretty worried. worried that after graduating i won't be able to find a job. should i study to my interest? or to what the market needs? veri vexed..
how to choose a uni? by ranking? by which one offers me the most suitable coz? i worry that the uni i choose is not recognized. i worry that the course i choose is not needed. or leads to a lousy job.. i fear i am not up to what is needed in pursuing bachelor in multimedia.. i can't draw loh.. how? am i still up to it? "after army, what's worse?" recall that. i need to be strong. i will be strong...
Bean blubbered at [18:08]
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glass jigsaw pieces..
Bean blubbered at [01:53]
glass jigsaw hanging at the roof..
Bean blubbered at [01:52]
a stairway to heaven?? noo... it's a jigsaw stair way hanging as an art piece..
Bean blubbered at [01:52]
even less ppl..
Bean blubbered at [01:51]
crowd getting less...
Bean blubbered at [01:50]
bump into donald.. guess he was here for the acjc choir performance.. lotsa ppl.. seems like some kinda reunion.. heh.. lotsa eye candies.. kekeke..
Bean blubbered at [01:49]
the bright balls outside... haha..
Bean blubbered at [01:47]
Strolled to esplanade..
Bean blubbered at [01:47]
Suntec city for star wars.. met cindy(darren's ex) with another guy n she saw me n act blur like nv see me.. hmmm..
Bean blubbered at [01:46]
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Mr Meow came along and provided some fun for me.. flashed at it and had some fun.. haha.. how bo liao can i get??!! no choice lah.. wait for ppl is bo liao.. that's y i hate to wait for ppl..
Bean blubbered at [15:44]
they told me to meet them 0900h i took a cab down n reached around 0910h. they ain't around.. damn... so here i am alone at the basketball court ready for soccer n there's no one...
Bean blubbered at [15:43]
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Mr tallie !
Bean blubbered at [11:54]
the goodie bag!
Bean blubbered at [11:53]
not an easy route to the goodie bag collection point i guess..
Bean blubbered at [11:52]
The 2nd big walk,after the big walk to mcdonald's, is to the goodie bag collection point..
Bean blubbered at [11:52]
NEP, potato & me!
Bean blubbered at [11:51]
3 slackers at mac waiting for food..
Bean blubbered at [11:50]
House of Wax twins??
Bean blubbered at [11:50]
Pacific Internet with their advertising campaigne?
Bean blubbered at [11:49]
time of completion.. or is it a count down time bomb fixed onto the car?
Bean blubbered at [11:48]
Finish Line... finally... though our route 'lightly' altered.. ahaha
Bean blubbered at [11:47]
Timothy Lim Teh.. haha...
Bean blubbered at [11:47]
NEP: eating my hashbrown and oggling at that babe over there is my way of the Big Walker..
Bean blubbered at [11:46]
potato, we noe u're tired from ytd night's exertions but o need to eat n sleep at the same time rite?
Bean blubbered at [11:45]
On the pretense of going for the big walk to keep fit, the slackers at work again... queueing.. for............ McDonald's
Bean blubbered at [11:45]
Nice sky scene of a plane flying by...
Bean blubbered at [11:43]
Big Walk Start Line...
Bean blubbered at [11:43]
From left: potato, NEP, me, tim, ah bao... yea.. i a bit odd one out la...
Bean blubbered at [11:42]
0330h sleep so early go out again.. 0635h but i was late..
Bean blubbered at [11:39]
time i reach the lift back home..
Bean blubbered at [02:52]
mel: let's tuck in !!
Bean blubbered at [02:52]
potato & his swordfish collar !
Bean blubbered at [02:51]
Potato: feed me...
tim: yes my master...
Bean blubbered at [02:51]
Tim: where is my plate?? why did they gimme a pan instead? Am i supposed to go into the kitchen n cook my dish myself??
Bean blubbered at [02:50]
Tim's fish & chip.. good food sure can cheer up them up.. not to say many babes around to oogle at.. haha
Bean blubbered at [02:49]
3 rejected & dejected guys went to fish & co. to hv dinner instead..
Bean blubbered at [02:47]
3 guys went to catch Star Wars @ Suntec City.
Bought 3 pop corns & 3 drinks...
3 dejected guys came out of the theatre coz their seat were taken up by some couple..
3 pissed off guys got replacement tix for the same show same time same venue on monday.. Damn... we threw away the snacks..! no mood..! :P
Bean blubbered at [02:46]
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Posters as a form of mind games??!!
Bean blubbered at [11:29]
ATEC has finally ended.. only the fittest survive in the name of WAR!!
Bean blubbered at [11:28]
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Simply too busy. Or perhaps i didn't plan my time well enough.. hmm.. i haven been continuing on my photolog.. haiz. been busy spending time with frens as well as sourcing information on studying overseas.. in my case.. aussie.. been doing calculating of costs etc.. and then weekdays when i'm so free in camp, i dun hv a pc to work on my photolog. damn.. i wish i have a lab top in camp to do my photoshopping..
Bean blubbered at [18:16]
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i drank too !! mine is frozen fully blended blueberry magarita. hers was juz plain frozen fully blended magarita.. cocktails won't make me drunk but does gimme some effect.. i like this a bit ditsy feeling.. hee ;)
Bean blubbered at [00:04]
Had dinner at sketches.. not bad.. hmmm.. i actually ate pasta..!! haha.. it's not something i'll hv a craving for.. juz an ok normal food.. i dun mind not eating it at all also loh.. not very attractive..
Bean blubbered at [00:02]
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