Friday, February 25, 2005

sometimes life comes up with happenings that shock the life out of you. juz when u r sad, a miracle happens n joy overcomes ya. juz when u thought u're so blissful, disaster can strike and take away from you the things/people that u value most and put in place sorrow... life ain't fair. nv try to compare. it's not always that when u put in ur best effort, ur heart n soul that u'll get ur juz reward. i've seen ppl who so undeservedly get what they want.

And what's worst? nothing is worst u'll think. let me tell u what's worst. it happening to u more than once. there's no one to blame. it's nobody's fault. juz like in soccer when a team has done everything they can to try n score. but every shot keeps hitting the woodwork. missing by juz that little bit. it's nobody's fault yet that makes it all the more frustrating.

ya noe what i realized? that when things go against the first time, and u pick urself up to go again. and then the same things happen to u a second time, u start to lose faith. i was disillusioned. very. the same feeling i felt a couple of years ago. this is when crossing streets is damn dangerous. u dun hv the urge to change the pace of ur footing to avoid the vehicles coming. but then u nv realli wanna get hit too..

and then platoon sergeant wanna give 3 extras to me. coz i took back my helmet from his office without his knowledge. coz my mood ain't good. i feel like retorting back defiantly.. i wanna stick the helmet in his face n tell him, "This is my helmet. the one i drew a bean on it. i lost it. i find it back. u wanna gimme three extras?? juz give lah! F*** Y**!". but then i noe i'll regret it. dunno how i should react when i book in n he asks abt it. weekends are precious but if i juz book out and feel sad/ cry at home, then might as well stay in camp do 3 extra duties?

shit happens. i'm sad.
Blabbered bean @ 20:23 //