Saturday, April 10, 2004

   Today went to visit mum. the whole place there renovated liao. veri different from the last time we went there.. heh.. took some photos lah.. haha.. lazy to do up my site a lil' more. lazy to upload n edit the pix to add in my posts. haiz. was unusually quiet there. was thinking. i tried to think i'm communicating with my mum. i told her everything n everything. n i felt better. i did some good thinking there... heh :)

   i'm too reliant on ppl sometimes. without friends i'll surely die of loneliness.. i'm sorry to those whom i've troubled because of my own problems be it on msn, icq, sms or even phone call.. thanks for ur advice whatsoever.. sometimes juz need listening ear lah.. yet sometimes i like to put up a strong front. hey, i'm a guardsman ok? haha..

   i hv many many frens. all so supportive. that's y i'm fortunate. i'm so embaressed to trouble so many already. i need to be strong. brace up. face up to the truth. face the music. take it all head on. it's not anyone's fault. i'll miss the good times. the happy times. the bad times even. but Time is the key. though i say those, i am still trying.. ever determined n having a strong will, i have decided to persue one last chance between the two of us. frankly, i still believe that ppl of different chracteristics n views can be in love with one another. i feel that sometimes differences can be settled easily by compromising.. but we would hv to work very hard at it. hopefully i can endure through..

   had a lot of time this loong weekend alone in my room. did a lot of thinking n chatted with many frens online. i've got many vices which i wanna change. the funny thing is that i dun hv the urge n determination to do it for myself. but for her, i can do it. i ask for time n patience.. i plead.. i beg.. i find i can think more seriously n better when i'm in depression mode. heh..
Blabbered bean @ 19:50 //