Ooops.. Went to the movies with apple @ CineLeisure via Orchard Road Takashimaya etc.. Got spotted by a couple of friends whom i've either never met before (for example netfren lah) or never met since Tekong BMT. heh.. the comment about apple havin curves was something new.. haha.. but i think it'll be realli odd if my frens heard that ppl describe me as cute. haha.. i mean i'm no cartoon guy. most say i'm muscular. Eecks.. i hate that i am that. i'm blessed with chest muscles which i clearly don't appreciate like the rest of the other guys who are obsessed to the limit of taking mass gainers. WTF!!
I'm addicted to making calls to my other frens when i'm bored. maybe they can cheer me up more. i'm using my frens to occupy the void left by her.. hmmm... is that wrong? hmmm... last week we went to the IMT for an experience on shooting with the SAR21. next week will be our ATP. which is live firing. we'll also be having our repelling done next week. Live Descend too of course !!
ok, shall not write long. i gotta book in early this week. sianz. for ATP briefing. 2100h book in. byee...
*P.S: More bunk photos added!! This is the link.
Bean blubbered at [20:12]
_____________
Ouch Ouch Ouch!!! my inner lips are so painful... all because of the stupid ulcers i have.. arrggghhhh..... & that makes brushing teeth extra extra annoying n painful too!! i hate these ulcers.. the weathers' been so hot recently. even with the 3 fans in our bunk all on, we seem to be getting warm air blown at us. urgh. very hot to sleep sweatily u noe... sianz. to confound things, we broke the blade of our fan while washing it during one of the area cleanings. we bear with the noise it makes for about a week before we decided to perform our very own Operation Stunner. Scout Platoon will surely be cursing us.. hahaha.. make a guess lah.. can u guys guess what we did?
ok, back to the hot weather, i got migraine for 2 days in a row... during my 8km run on monday n hbft cum weights n circuits training on tuesday. i fell out of the pushups n alt. leg thrust sessions coz the blood was flowing to my head n causing limitless pain.. urgh. i still refuse to eat my penadol though.. talk about stubborn scorpio? haha..
oh yeah here are more photos... click here
Bean blubbered at [21:19]
_____________
It's been a rather slack week. lotsa sleeping photos taken since i smuggled my digicam into cam. yes, finally took pix of my self-painted cupboards n walls. it's juz so so nice compared to those dull, rusty n old cupboards we inherited. yes, take a sneak preview of frankies' latest undies too... his choice of color n thin-ness for underwear is incredible. haha.. for photos, here's the link..
so far so good. the rehabilitation between us had been pretty ok. i wonder whether it's healing. actually deep down in me i feel that the feeling of compromising is with me. i feel that i'm the one making the sacrifices the one willing to change. but never her. is this healthy? am i juz fooling myself? haiz.. i dunno...
booking in soon n i still haven pack. can't write much. enjoy the pix guys...
Bean blubbered at [18:23]
_____________
Today went to visit mum. the whole place there renovated liao. veri different from the last time we went there.. heh.. took some photos lah.. haha.. lazy to do up my site a lil' more. lazy to upload n edit the pix to add in my posts. haiz. was unusually quiet there. was thinking. i tried to think i'm communicating with my mum. i told her everything n everything. n i felt better. i did some good thinking there... heh :)
i'm too reliant on ppl sometimes. without friends i'll surely die of loneliness.. i'm sorry to those whom i've troubled because of my own problems be it on msn, icq, sms or even phone call.. thanks for ur advice whatsoever.. sometimes juz need listening ear lah.. yet sometimes i like to put up a strong front. hey, i'm a guardsman ok? haha..
i hv many many frens. all so supportive. that's y i'm fortunate. i'm so embaressed to trouble so many already. i need to be strong. brace up. face up to the truth. face the music. take it all head on. it's not anyone's fault. i'll miss the good times. the happy times. the bad times even. but Time is the key. though i say those, i am still trying.. ever determined n having a strong will, i have decided to persue one last chance between the two of us. frankly, i still believe that ppl of different chracteristics n views can be in love with one another. i feel that sometimes differences can be settled easily by compromising.. but we would hv to work very hard at it. hopefully i can endure through..
had a lot of time this loong weekend alone in my room. did a lot of thinking n chatted with many frens online. i've got many vices which i wanna change. the funny thing is that i dun hv the urge n determination to do it for myself. but for her, i can do it. i ask for time n patience.. i plead.. i beg.. i find i can think more seriously n better when i'm in depression mode. heh..
Bean blubbered at [19:50]
_____________
Since i am better off not saying them out, i'll type them out in my little world here... "I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear."
Shattered. Crushed. Disappointed. Busted. Disintegrated. Dismembered. Pulverized. Severed. Collapsed. Crumbled. Broken. "Is this the end of the world? Brace up. Are you going to give up like that?" - Bull shit! It is really the end of my world. i'm not gonna brace up. for f***??!! if changing myself ain't good enough what good would bracing up do? give up? i dun want to. but i know i'll soon be forced to. bottom line: i brought this upon myself. i deserve it. O Bi Good. :(
i'm in the middle of nowhere. NOWHERE NOWHERE NOWHERE. not in the water, not on land nor am i floating in the air either. it's all my fault all my fault all my fault. i'm worthless i'm shit i'm useless. i'm clueless. arrggghhhh.... i so saddened... nobody knows nobody will understand... Good bye Mr Cheery! Welcome Mr Gloomy...
Bean blubbered at [22:26]
_____________
It's 040404 !!! what a date!! dun feel like blogging today actually. maybe coz no privacy maybe coz i a little troubled.. hmmm.. i dun like to feel down like this.. but i'm oni dragging myself along... hopefully it won't last long...
Saturday was IPPT Test!! i got my infantry gold as i wished.. but now i'm already aiming at the Guards Gold award.. is this a sign of greed? never satisfied guy? should i change? haiz.. i dunno... my results are 9 min 3 seconds for the 2.4km run, 234cm for the SBJ, 12 chin-ups, 9.3seconds for shuttle-run and 40 sit-ups.. all station getting 5 points except SBJ need to improve by 9cm from 234cm to 243cm... task impossible!! haha
EePing is gone n YongChai n Llewell are back.. bike course ah bike course... i hope i dun hv to go too... see u back in a month, EePing!! heh.. :D
friday morning me n alvin couldn't get out of bed. overslept. the company duty sergeant gotta come call us up from bed. we were so scared then. so embaressed too.. the rest of the platoon had gone on guard duty lor. then the whole platoon oni left 2 person oni.. i din sleep well lor... waking up at 0100h n 0200h thinking it was reveille liao... haiz.. lucky ps spoke up for us n reduced the punishment to juz a day of sai gang.. haha.. realli fortunate sia... haha
haiz... a bit no mood to blog more liao.. dunno y oso.. maybe coz of the chat with ko1nu? hmmm... i'll be alrite soon... dun worry...
Bean blubbered at [17:01]
_____________
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Ooops.. Went to the movies with apple @ CineLeisure via Orchard Road Takashimaya etc.. Got spotted by a couple of friends whom i've either never met before (for example netfren lah) or never met since Tekong BMT. heh.. the comment about apple havin curves was something new.. haha.. but i think it'll be realli odd if my frens heard that ppl describe me as cute. haha.. i mean i'm no cartoon guy. most say i'm muscular. Eecks.. i hate that i am that. i'm blessed with chest muscles which i clearly don't appreciate like the rest of the other guys who are obsessed to the limit of taking mass gainers. WTF!!
I'm addicted to making calls to my other frens when i'm bored. maybe they can cheer me up more. i'm using my frens to occupy the void left by her.. hmmm... is that wrong? hmmm... last week we went to the IMT for an experience on shooting with the SAR21. next week will be our ATP. which is live firing. we'll also be having our repelling done next week. Live Descend too of course !!
ok, shall not write long. i gotta book in early this week. sianz. for ATP briefing. 2100h book in. byee...
*P.S: More bunk photos added!! This is the
link.
Blabbered
bean
@
20:12
//
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Ouch Ouch Ouch!!! my inner lips are so painful... all because of the stupid ulcers i have.. arrggghhhh..... & that makes brushing teeth extra extra annoying n painful too!! i hate these ulcers.. the weathers' been so hot recently. even with the 3 fans in our bunk all on, we seem to be getting warm air blown at us. urgh. very hot to sleep sweatily u noe... sianz. to confound things, we broke the blade of our fan while washing it during one of the area cleanings. we bear with the noise it makes for about a week before we decided to perform our very own Operation Stunner. Scout Platoon will surely be cursing us.. hahaha.. make a guess lah.. can u guys guess what we did?
ok, back to the hot weather, i got migraine for 2 days in a row... during my 8km run on monday n hbft cum weights n circuits training on tuesday. i fell out of the pushups n alt. leg thrust sessions coz the blood was flowing to my head n causing limitless pain.. urgh. i still refuse to eat my penadol though.. talk about stubborn scorpio? haha..
oh yeah here are more photos... click
here
Blabbered
bean
@
21:19
//
Sunday, April 18, 2004
It's been a rather slack week. lotsa sleeping photos taken since i smuggled my digicam into cam. yes, finally took pix of my self-painted cupboards n walls. it's juz so so nice compared to those dull, rusty n old cupboards we inherited. yes, take a sneak preview of frankies' latest undies too... his choice of color n thin-ness for underwear is incredible. haha.. for photos, here's the
link..
so far so good. the rehabilitation between us had been pretty ok. i wonder whether it's healing. actually deep down in me i feel that the feeling of compromising is with me. i feel that i'm the one making the sacrifices the one willing to change. but never her. is this healthy? am i juz fooling myself? haiz.. i dunno...
booking in soon n i still haven pack. can't write much. enjoy the pix guys...
Blabbered
bean
@
18:23
//
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Today went to visit mum. the whole place there renovated liao. veri different from the last time we went there.. heh.. took some photos lah.. haha.. lazy to do up my site a lil' more. lazy to upload n edit the pix to add in my posts. haiz. was unusually quiet there. was thinking. i tried to think i'm communicating with my mum. i told her everything n everything. n i felt better. i did some good thinking there... heh :)
i'm too reliant on ppl sometimes. without friends i'll surely die of loneliness.. i'm sorry to those whom i've troubled because of my own problems be it on msn, icq, sms or even phone call.. thanks for ur advice whatsoever.. sometimes juz need listening ear lah.. yet sometimes i like to put up a strong front. hey, i'm a guardsman ok? haha..
i hv many many frens. all so supportive. that's y i'm fortunate. i'm so embaressed to trouble so many already. i need to be strong. brace up. face up to the truth. face the music. take it all head on. it's not anyone's fault. i'll miss the good times. the happy times. the bad times even. but Time is the key. though i say those, i am still trying.. ever determined n having a strong will, i have decided to persue one last chance between the two of us. frankly, i still believe that ppl of different chracteristics n views can be in love with one another. i feel that sometimes differences can be settled easily by compromising.. but we would hv to work very hard at it. hopefully i can endure through..
had a lot of time this loong weekend alone in my room. did a lot of thinking n chatted with many frens online. i've got many vices which i wanna change. the funny thing is that i dun hv the urge n determination to do it for myself. but for her, i can do it. i ask for time n patience.. i plead.. i beg.. i find i can think more seriously n better when i'm in depression mode. heh..
Blabbered
bean
@
19:50
//
Friday, April 09, 2004
Since i am better off not saying them out, i'll type them out in my little world here... "I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear. I miss my dear. I still love my dear."
Shattered. Crushed. Disappointed. Busted. Disintegrated. Dismembered. Pulverized. Severed. Collapsed. Crumbled. Broken. "Is this the end of the world? Brace up. Are you going to give up like that?" - Bull shit! It is really the end of my world. i'm not gonna brace up. for f***??!! if changing myself ain't good enough what good would bracing up do? give up? i dun want to. but i know i'll soon be forced to. bottom line: i brought this upon myself. i deserve it. O Bi Good. :(
i'm in the middle of nowhere. NOWHERE NOWHERE NOWHERE. not in the water, not on land nor am i floating in the air either. it's all my fault all my fault all my fault. i'm worthless i'm shit i'm useless. i'm clueless. arrggghhhh.... i so saddened... nobody knows nobody will understand... Good bye Mr Cheery! Welcome Mr Gloomy...
Blabbered
bean
@
22:26
//
Sunday, April 04, 2004
It's 040404 !!! what a date!! dun feel like blogging today actually. maybe coz no privacy maybe coz i a little troubled.. hmmm.. i dun like to feel down like this.. but i'm oni dragging myself along... hopefully it won't last long...
Saturday was IPPT Test!! i got my infantry gold as i wished.. but now i'm already aiming at the Guards Gold award.. is this a sign of greed? never satisfied guy? should i change? haiz.. i dunno... my results are 9 min 3 seconds for the 2.4km run, 234cm for the SBJ, 12 chin-ups, 9.3seconds for shuttle-run and 40 sit-ups.. all station getting 5 points except SBJ need to improve by 9cm from 234cm to 243cm... task impossible!! haha
EePing is gone n YongChai n Llewell are back.. bike course ah bike course... i hope i dun hv to go too... see u back in a month, EePing!! heh.. :D
friday morning me n alvin couldn't get out of bed. overslept. the company duty sergeant gotta come call us up from bed. we were so scared then. so embaressed too.. the rest of the platoon had gone on guard duty lor. then the whole platoon oni left 2 person oni.. i din sleep well lor... waking up at 0100h n 0200h thinking it was reveille liao... haiz.. lucky ps spoke up for us n reduced the punishment to juz a day of sai gang.. haha.. realli fortunate sia... haha
haiz... a bit no mood to blog more liao.. dunno y oso.. maybe coz of the chat with ko1nu? hmmm... i'll be alrite soon... dun worry...
Blabbered
bean
@
17:01
//
