i could sense myself stepping on thin ice. the signs were there.. i could feel a volcano eruption eminent. i tried hard. very hard to please and not to provoke. but perhaps i tried too hard once again. i should hv just shut my gap!
Once again the thought of "trying to do something is better than doing nothing" backfires.. why do i like to give explanations to everything? giving explanations for ppl who i felt had done me wrong or someone i love wrong.. it's just so me. i believe all things happen for a reason in life. logic. no gods. no ghosts. no spirits.
And so when anyone tells me about their bad experiences with so-and-so, i gave my explanation of why that so-and-so would do that. i do wish everyone i noe understands me well enough that when i explain for the other party, it doesn't mean i feel that you are wrong. I don't mean to let you feel that i agree with the other party more than you do but my reason-seeking nature will automatically generate a logical reasoning for the action.The book was right. men do tend to like to solve problems. when they hear of a problem, the first thing on their mind is why? why he do that? why he don't do that? how to solve the problem? i do admit i neglected that the Venetian need to be comforted instead of concentrating on the problem itself i guess men don't like to say "yea, you're right. why did they do that ah? They are so wrong." and jump onto the bandwagon of question askers.Men are not born as problem solvers, but the society has molded us into shape to be one. To everyone who feels that I dun seem to agree with you when i hear you out, please forgive me and pardon my Martien instincts..
Bean blubbered at [21:08]
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Have been realli stress n busy with assignments.. hv not been playing soccer and hving fun.. just veri weighed down by own expectation and disappointment.. but i'll b fine la.. A supposedly ungraded lighting assignment that wasted some of my time for other more important assignments.
Bean blubbered at [01:02]
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Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Added a headlight. This is what i call crawling progress... haiz.. so frustrating..
Bean blubbered at [05:12]
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Hilarious mac ads.. i luv 'em all.. go take a peek..
*disclaimer: u might end up hooked like me and dl-ing the whole series to watch!
Bean blubbered at [19:01]
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half of the 3d car.. my progress thus far... still v slow.. still lots to improve.
Bean blubbered at [06:07]
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One fine day i look out of my window before i go to bed and i see balloons...wow.. not a luxury i could enjoy in singapore. and so i'm blessed.
Bean blubbered at [01:07]
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this is the story of a little boy. he was just an ordinary little boy who tries hard to be good. his mum would tell him to be a good little boy and score good grades in tests and exams. they sent him to a good school, paid expensive school fees. the boy didn't score too well in the first exam. he got it pretty ruff from his parents.
they hired a private tutor for extra coaching and reprimanded him bad. the boy felt bad. he felt stupid at times. he felt lousy for failing to get good grades. who doesn't want good grades? the boy wanted so much to fulfill his parent's wishes, get good grades and not waste his parents' hard-earned money too. and so he did try harder. forcing himself to remain awake in boring lessons and did his assignments and extra tuition homework dutifully.
it was not an easy routine to follow. the tiring classes and tutoring that follows. plus the strenuous other activities such as CCAs and bad-mood days. but the boy stuck on. he persevered. determined in doing what he can to satisfy his parents. thru the long, tiring nights, he kept on pushing himself.. drinking lotsa coffee along the way.
finally, the exams are over. the boy got a pretty good average score as well as getting 2nd in class. happily, he felt his hard work has been recognized. he brought his result slip to his parents. instead of congratulating their son for his improvement as well as good grades, they choose to instead look past all that and focus on why he hadn't been top in class. only telling him to make sure he does better during the next exam and then they went about to do their own stuff again.
the boy was devastated and torn inside out. how much he wanted that hug n kiss and appraisal for his hard work he put into. the night went. but the boy couldn't sleep. he had no mood to do anything. he had assignments due tomorrow, mind u.. but he didn't give a heck. he could have played video games and enjoy himself but he didn't have the mood. he just sat there thinking n thinking.. the hurt he was feeling.. his parents wouldn't never understand. sometimes he wish his mum or dad would just come into his room while he was sitting there n comfort him just a little.. a little hug, or a gentle pat on the back would suffice. he wishes he didn't anticipated correctly that it would never happen. but he was right.
the next day, as usual he got up on time for breakfast. his mum n dad went about doing stuff as they usually would. dad was busy reading newspapers and mum was rushing to make breakfast and prepare to go to work at the same time. the little boy just sat there eating his sandwich, deep in thought, while doing everything as per normal.
the little boy feels unappreciated. all his hard work count for nothing. no praise. no warm tight hugs. no nothing. but he is afraid to voice out. what good is it gonna do? he doesn't want more trouble. his hurt from yesternight is not forgotten. how could he? he doesn't understand how his parents could be so cruel to knowingly leave him there feeling down and do nothing about it. how could they bear to leave their loved one to suffer alone when obviously they know that he is feeling very down. and treating like as if nothing has happened the next day.
what would u do if u were the little boy? will u swallow a big gulp and forget everything? all the hurt he suffered? treat like nothing happen and begin the day as per normal?
Bean blubbered at [00:47]
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Wednesday, April 11, 2007
a view i savour every morning.. before i sleep..
Bean blubbered at [21:40]
My 3D model work in progress..
Bean blubbered at [04:00]
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when u wake up, looks into the mirror and see some hair waving back at you every morning, it's time to go for a hair cut. darnz.. =P
Bean blubbered at [08:05]
Above: Krispy Kreme selection of Doughnuts.
Above: Dough nuts being fried then glazed at a Krispy Kreme store in Sydney, Australia.
more realistically, i am thinking of being a partner. then maybe sideline as webmaster or something for the company. design brochures, leaflets, posters.. i noe nuts abt business.. how sia? hmmm.... just a tot.. just a thought..
Bean blubbered at [00:39]
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OMG! i just finished watching Prison Break Season II. Damn.. the anticipation of season 3 is so much worst than the anticipation of the 4 episodes i had to quickly download before i go bonkers from cold turkey or whateva nonsense.Seriously, these script writers are so good, i tell ya.. i wish i could think up ideas for my own script that well.. ideas ideas ideas.. i was thinking of how i could end it if i was the writer and i guess they showed me the way. by ending it with another preposition and even MORE anticipation. i just wish i could steal the director's cut from hollywood now.. argh.. gotta suffer for a long time waiting.. argh..
Bean blubbered at [21:42]
A view of Melbourne Docklands and sprawling north western suburbs from the Observation Deck at Rialto Tower.
MELvyn came to MELbourne to study. y choose MELbourne? lol.. bored. din wanna start on my assignment. so i wiki-ed some facts abt MELbEAN Melbourne.
Melbourne's CBD has grown to straddle the Yarra River in three major precincts. The northern area is Melbourne's central business district (left) and Southbank (right) pictured.
Melbourne is the second-largest city in Australia, with a metropolitan area population of approximately 3.7 million (2006 estimate). Located around Port Philip Bay in the country's south-east, Melbourne is the state capital of Victoria.
Melbourne's Chinatown, established in 1854, is not only the oldest in Australia but one of the oldest in the world.
Melbourne is a major centre of commerce, industry and cultural activity. The city is often referred to as Australia's "sporting and cultural capital"[1] and it is home to many of the nations's most significant cultural and sporting events and institutions. Melbourne is notable for its Victorian architecture, its extensive tram network and Victorian parks and gardens. It was the host city of the 1956 Summer Olympics and the 2006 Commonwealth Games.
Melbourne has six sister cities. They are: 
Osaka, Japan, 1978
Tianjin, China, 1980
Thessaloniki, Greece, 1984
Boston, 1985
Saint Petersburg, Russia, 1989
Milan, Italy, 2004
The World's Most Livable Cities is an informal name given to any list of cities as they rank on a reputable annual survey of living conditions. The two best-known are the Mercer Quality of Living Survey and the Economist's Worlds Most Livable Cities.
The Economist Intelligence Unit's livability survey report said Vancouver, BC, Canada and Melbourne, Australia, "with low crime, little threat from instability or terrorism and a highly developed infrastructure," are the two most livable cities in the world, having tied for first place.
hmmm... tired. maybe wiki n read more facts next time.. now's time for another episode of prison break.. lol
Bean blubbered at [18:39]
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my internet is finally back.. in the short(to others but not me) period of a week, me, without internet, had no choice but to turn to my dvds/movies.. just when i tot this wk will be a torturous week, i got prison break season one and two from samC. a wk later, it is now my favourite tv drama ever! i love suspence.
i watched prison break day n night. sitting there playing episodes after episodes.. and i manage to finish season one and two in 3-4 days.. lol. at my most extreme i sat down after school at 6pm and watched all the way thru to 9am the next morning. there was also a day when i was so engrossed in the story that i ended up sleeping oni 2-3 hrs before going out to celebrate tj's bday(4th April)!i had to battle realli hard to keep myself from falling asleep in the cinema. watching the slow paced mr bean's holiday.. as i watched i leaned lower n lower down my seat.. but determined not to waste my money sleeping in a theatre, i managed to finish the entire show. then concussed back home after hving dinner with the guys.. woke up a mere 2-3 hrs later for more prison breaking.. lol.. i guess u can say i am an addict..
"Hi, I'm Melvyn & I'm an addict. a Prison break addict."
*ps:actually i haven finish watching prison break 2 coz i oni hv up till episode 18 and currently it is at episode 22. desperate to dl the 4 episodes now.. bit comet dun fail me.. please.. it'll b like cold turkey..
Bean blubbered at [21:57]
went for a soccer game saturday morning.. sleeping just 2-3 hrs beforehand. my body clock is upside down alredi.. coz i took a nap ard ard 6+pm and couldnt sleep after that. so i decided to clear up some space in my hdd by watching a movie.. so i could delete it off my harddrive after that.. ended up sleeping ard 7+ and the game is initially told to be starting at 1030h! i slept till 0930h and reached there ard 1100h. still in time lah!
my stamina havent dropped as much as i thought it would be but i soon got to know what's wrong with suddenly going into full gear after 2-3 weeks without any strenuous excercise. my muscles harden up and threathen to cramp me. i aint feeling any stitches from lack of stamina much but i was held back slightly by my tightening muscles.. i alredi did try to do a proper warm up alredi..
now back home. my body from knees downwards dun feel mine.. they r so weak.. it's a chore to just walk over to the toilet.. i shall play more often.. damn.. oh yah, i got something to show for my effort today! lol.. a bruise from a ricochet clearance.. i got it from chasing down a ball-clearing sweeper..
Bean blubbered at [14:32]
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i was rushing to school one afternoon when i noticed this! hehe.. the window cleaner sure reminds me of the time when i was doing rappelling and heli-rapelling.. aww.. how i envy him,.. no helmets, no heavy field pack, no stupid drills, what a job... lol.. a sight not to be seen in sg lah..
Bean blubbered at [00:38]
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One fine day i look out of my window before i go to bed and i see balloons...wow.. not a luxury i could enjoy in singapore. and so i'm blessed.
